Thursday, April 5, 2018

The Year of No Shopping: Quarter 1

ICYMI, I decided that 2018 would be my Year of No Shopping. Recall that 'no shopping' does not mean 'no spending' or 'no buying things' or even 'no buying things unless 100% necessary'; for me this year, 'no shopping' means:

  • No wine shopping/buying beyond what I'm already committed to through clubs.
  • No new running clothes or shoes (barring maybe a Boston souvenir or two...maybe), except for probably some new sports bras which are truly needed.
  • No new clothes/accessories shopping via idleness/anxiety, crushing on something for no new good reason, or feeling like I need something new for a particular occasion.
  • No new books unless I *actually*, *literally* have nothing to read that I'm excited about.
  • No 'gadgets' unless it's something we legitimately need. (ie, no seeing an online ad for some handy gadget & going "Ooh! I could use that!" [add to cart])
  • No window shopping since it pretty much involves all the same bad habits, just without spending money.

I promised to do a little update once I was a few months in, so, here you go!

How's it going?
Pretty well! Thus far I have been able to refrain from shopping without much effort. I can only think of one time where I found myself going, "OK NO BUT I REALLY WANT THAT" (but I didn't buy it, and now I can't even remember what it was) and one instance where I truly broke the rules.

How difficult has it been?
You'll think I'm lying, but honestly, it hasn't been hard at all. If you're at all familiar with the "moderator vs. abstainer" idea, I think it's pretty clear that when it comes to shopping I'm "abstainer" and maybe the reason all this was such a problem for me before was because I was trying to be a "moderator" and sucking at it. Saying "Nope, just not doing it," full-stop has been relatively easy for me, because it's black and white. The decision has been made; done and done. Moderating, on the other hand, is hard because then I have to go through all the emotional work of "Okay, I've committed to only shopping in moderation, so is THIS what I want to spend my moderate shopping on? How much do I really need/want this? What if something better comes along? And what is moderation, exactly? One more thing? How about one more. One more?" All that ruminating and analyzing wears me down, and I think too often I ended up going "Eh, f*** it, buying it is easier than continuing to think about this."

How am I managing it?
The thing is, not shopping is the default action--cheating involves making the effort to actually do something--so frankly, laziness goes a long way. I get an email from Sports Basement about a big end-of-season sale, or new REI coupons available? Eh, I can't be bothered to click on a link and then find the departments that interest me and then filter by size/prize/etc. Who has the energy for that? It's much easier to delete the email without even opening it. (That said, I've also tried to unsubscribe from as many ad email lists as possible so that I never even see them.)

I've also been reading more about minimalism. Now, don't get me wrong; I have a lot of stuff I like and I don't plan to be living in a plain white room with two books, three outfits, one bowl, and a spoon any time soon. But doing some reading on the subject has made me realize that acquiring stuff has a cost that goes beyond what you pay for it.

First, there's the environmental cost of supporting production, particularly of mass-produced crap that isn't produced in a particularly responsible way (and, let's be honest, that's most of our stuff). Making stuff uses up resources like clean water and fossil fuels and produces air and water pollution. And when we get tired of that stuff or don't need it anymore or it reaches the end of its usable life, a lot of it ends up in landfills, so we don't even get those resources back. (For a couple of informative videos on this, see The Story of Stuff or this piece from Marketplace about how textile waste is reaching crisis levels). Obviously there will always be stuff we *do* actually need and shouldn't feel guilty about buying, but learning more about how so much of our crap is produced and where it ends up has caused me to be extra thoughtful about what I'm supporting and contributing to when I buy something and whether it's really necessary.

Second, there are the personal costs of acquiring something. When a thing comes into your house, you have to store it, maintain it, move it around with you, and ultimately deal with disposing of it, all of which takes physical and emotional energy and in some cases even has a monetary cost. Also, acquiring stuff sometimes leads to acquiring more, related stuff (*cough*RUNNINGSTUFF*cough*), something I noticed when we were planning a camping trip and I needed a new sleeping bag. Suddenly I found myself purchasing a camping pillow, backpack (even though I've never backpacked, because SALE!), and camping thermos. Finally, there's the psychic weight of junk--small stuff that seemed like a good deal, or was an impulse buy, and now is just taking up space in your house and stressing you out and contributing literally nothing else to your life. The more I think about all the stuff I have that I never use or even look at anymore, the more I've become a bit draconian about letting ANYTHING new--even free stuff--into my house.

(Actually, especially free stuff. Like, nowadays people try to seduce me into taking more crap into my house by telling me BUT IT'S FREEEEEE!!!! And I'm like IT'S NOT FREEEEEE because NOW I HAVE ITTTTTT!!!! See above about the non-monetary and psychic costs of having crap in your house you don't use.)

A couple of people asked about the spreadsheet that I'm using to track purchases, so here are a few screenshots. It's really pretty simple, just an Excel workbook with twelve sheets (one for each month). I don't know if I have the categories quite right yet so I might adjust those as the year goes on, but for now these are working. Basically, it's sort of a poor man's Mint or MS Money (which I know a lot of people find super useful -- they just seemed a little more complex than I really needed for this).

At the back I have another sheet that sums the categories across the monthly sheets & populates a little pie chart:


No, 29% of my monthly spending is not *typically* accounted for with office supplies, but the groceries part is probably accurate! XP

Other Revelations
One particular category of stuff that not shopping has got me thinking more about is sentimental/keepsake sort of things, which have often been my downfall when it comes to clutter in my house. So many times I've acquired or kept things under the theory that it will help me remember the moment or experience, but I'm no longer sure how true that really is. I am in a Facebook Boston Marathon training group and OMG how some people obsess about The Jacket, about how to buy it and when to buy it and where to buy it and where to have it shipped and when is it okay to start wearing it and is it kosher to buy one from a different year. And it doesn't stop there! People post about their BAA-themed jewelry and socks and all the official crap you can now buy from the Adidas website, singlets and qualifier shirts and whatever else.

There was a time when I would have been right there with them, scouring the internet for the best BAA-related Stuff and analyzing which combination of Stuff would appropriately memorialize this amazing experience. Now, though, seeing that stuff kind of feels like drinking hungover. All I can think about when I see people posting about all their overpriced mass-produced BAA Stuff is, yes, I could buy that but then DEAR GOD I WOULD HAVE IT IN MY HOUSE. Like. Where am I going to wear that ugly-ass jacket? NOWHERE! I literally cannot thing of one public place where I'd wear it and it's the literal cost of a follow-up PT appointment.

For me, it almost feels now like the grabbing of stuff is some kind of desperate attempt to cling to the moment, to make it feel real, as if the experience itself, the memories and photos, aren't quite enough. Or to say to others around you OH DIDN'T YOU KNOW I RAN THE BOSTON MARATHON? GOOD THING I HELPFULLY WORE THIS NECKLACE, or a bid for attention, like OH HM, MY BOSTON QUALIFIER SHIRT YOU ASK? WHAT THIS OLD THING JUST THREW IT ON.

I just...don't feel a need for it. I have so many T-shirts that I like and don't wear. More singlets than I can possibly use. Jewelry I don't wear. I have like 10 jackets. I don't need another one. In fact I need to get RID of jackets! I can't tolerate the thought of paying someone money to bring yet another piece of niche clothing into my house. (And if I ever decide I really HAVE to have some kind of BAA merchandise, I suspect they will not quit making it any time soon.)

The Effects of Not Shopping
There have been some, all positive.

1) Time. As I'd hoped, I spend less time scrolling through the internet for stuff I don't actually need. Instead, I blog a little, or read, or do a little PT, or plan my grocery list, or do a quick 10 or 20 minutes of light cleaning/picking up around the house. In any case, something that feels useful and productive.

2) Banishing feelings of deprivation. In my original post I mentioned that one of the reasons I sometimes found myself shopping was because of memories of when I financially couldn't, and telling myself, "I shouldn't buy this..." triggered feelings of being poor, and then I'd end up buying the thing just to remind myself I could. This not-buying feels different, more like, "I have chosen not to shop because I don't want to and it's good for me; not because I can't." So not shopping has become something I'm a little proud of, something that makes me feel lighter and freer, rather than deprived and sad.

3) Related, I think I've become more attuned to when I really, truly want something. Shopping would be different because I'd go into the process without a specific thing in mind, just sort of, Let's see what I find that I didn't know I wanted. And sometimes I'd buy things not because I was truly all that excited about them, but because "Well, that's interesting, and my size, and, oh look, 10% off, *shrug* eh okay." Fast forward six months later to something hanging in my closet that I've worn twice. Or never.

Yes, I have made some not-strictly-necessary purchases this year, but they have been few, and intentional, and I think with one exception things that I've spent days or weeks asking myself, "Do I really want/need this? Do I really really want to give up the money and bring it into my house?" The result is that when I have bought those things, I didn't feel ambivalent or guilty about them--I bought them with 100% certainty, without remorse, knowing exactly what I'm going to do with them and why I'm letting them take up precious space in my house.

Behold, every discretionary purchase I've made this year, no lie:


Ice Bugs studded running shoes (for running in icy conditions). With the amount of time this winter & spring we've been spending in wintery locations, I really wanted to prioritize being able to get as many runs in as possible, no matter what the conditions. Also this is not likely to change, so these guys seem like something that I'll be able to get ongoing use out of for a good while. (I'll do an actual review at some point, never fear.)


Trekz bluetooth running headphones. Again review coming soon, but the short version is that I now have a phone that doesn't functionally connect with old school audio jack headphones and after months of substandard work-arounds, I decided to pony up for these. They don't go in your ears and rely on skull bone vibrations to transmit sound to your eardrums, so you still have perfect hearing of your surroundings, which to me is huge. So far I love them & it might not be an exaggeration to say they've changed my life.


Lift tickets on our ski trip! Not stuff, but a discretionary purchase that I didn't feel bad about because I haven't been spending money buying random stuff.


New Balance Hero Bra! I mentioned in my earlier post that my favorite bra (RIP, Moving Comfort Alexis) had been discontinued and the ones I have are getting pretty old. I feel like this falls squarely in the category of stuff I really, truly need. Again I'll do a review sometime soon but so far I love it!


This running top. Guys, I did not want to buy it, but I got almost to my PT appointment and realized I'd forgotten an athletic top. I didn't have time to go home and grab one before the appointment, but I was near Sports Basement so I quickly ducked in & grabbed this one. I like it well enough and it was on clearance, but still, I felt sort of bitter at "having" to shop for something when I have plenty of perfectly good tops at home and didn't even particularly love this one. Ah well. (True story: I did not realize for several weeks that I had been wearing it backwards, as I am in this picture. Running tops are hip and fleek now and I am not. :-O)


Having worked through my current stack of titles, I bought these two used, both of which I've been eyeing for a while. (Related: You should really listen to Mario Fraioli's recent interview with Meb. It was just lovely.)


I've been using gallon plastic bags for my travel toiletries for the last {mumblemumble} years and when my current one kind of bit the dust, I decided it was time to invest in something a bit sturdier.


THAT TIME I BROKE THE RULES! I was at the Oakland Marathon expo, and know that I almost *never* buy things at expos, but I walked past the Roadrunner Sports booth where they were selling barely-used returns for $65 each and spotted a *lovely* pair of beautiful shoes that aesthetically called to me. I idly picked them up and LO AND BEHOLD, they were one of my go-to work horse shoes (Saucony Kinvara, version 9) and also my size. Friends, I caved. They were so attractive (and I usually resign myself to not worrying about what shoes look like at all) and it just felt like a sign from the universe.

Seriously, that's it!

4) Finally, not nickel-and-diming myself with impulse purchases or clearance specials or eh-this-is-okay-and-now-it's-in-my-cart type things has made me feel much better about spending money elsewhere, like on my out-of-network PT appointment, and lift tickets on our ski trip (not cheap), or the extremely carefully considered purchases above. Did I balk a bit at a $120 pair of bluetooth running headphones? Yes I did. But, I also knew that in the last two months I had spent not a single dime on impulse wine purchases or clothes I felt 60/40 lukewarm about, so ultimately I felt good about spending the money.

So, that's where we are currently. I'll check in again in June/July with another update.



Have a complicated relationship to Stuff? Tell me about it!

10 comments:

  1. Good progress, there. I can identify with some of your thoughts, although I tend to veer toward the "don't buy that crap" side naturally. We are seriously storage impaired, so we tend not to buy "stuff". Oh, and I never bought the Boston jacket on my one trip there, and I certainly do not regret that decision. It's a windbreaker. Something I don't need. And if you change your mind, you can definitely buy one after the fact for much cheaper - I know, because I got promotional emails to that effect for months after the race.

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  2. I agree with Gracie on the Boston jackets. I have seen them on Running Warehouse after the fact and even seen Boston Marathon merchandise on Ebay and in the Adidas Outlet store here. I would never pay full price for a Boston jacket (if I ever make it to a marathon, let alone BQ and make it to Boston).

    You did an awesome job of not buying things! Sure you bought some things but they are things you will actually use and not souvenirs or sentimental stuff. I agree with you on free things too, often they will clutter the house as well and why take something if you don't need it and won't use it, even if it is free?

    I think online shopping is the hard part... especially when you have a job that requires you to be in front of a computer all day in an office! It is so tempting...

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  3. Eeee! An Alexis replacement! Let me know how it works for you.

    Sounds like your year of no shopping is going well. Unless it's literally impossible to find at a time we need it (think kid shoes - they grow so d*mn fast - or Stupidity Tax purchase because I've forgotten something), I'm trying to buy only pre-owned clothing this year for the environmental reasons you mentioned. It's much easier because all I really need is maternity clothes this year and I swear there is some kind of international sisterhood of the travelling maternity wear out there - it just goes round and round the country :) but the whole 'having seasons' thing (and unpredictable ones, DAMMIT SPRING WHERE ARE YOU) makes it a little bit harder.

    The other thing I'm trying to do this year is wean completely off Amazon deliveries because of their labour practices. Ugh.

    Finally, if you don't want the Boston souvenirs, don't feel pressured to get them! The trip is the main event and the celebration. (That's how I feel, except if I ever managed to run Boston I would actually get a jacket because winter running laundry...)

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  4. So many comments. Damn it for being on the other side of the world so we can't have this conversation face to face.
    1) I thought that the Mario/Meb interview was so dull I deleted it after 5 mins. I shall retry.
    2) I really like that top on backwards, you should consider wearing it like that all the time.
    3) I also use ziplock gallon bags for travel toiletries and always feel a bit scabby, so I'm encouraged that you've done it for years.
    4) Please do review the earphones because I've been considering similar ones but the idea of bone vibration makes me feel a bit weird.

    On a more general note, I've been thinking of you so much as I keep hearing stuff about Boston. This year's US ladies line up is incredible, the race is going to be so exciting and I am so so happy you're going to be there too, especially when you worked so hard. I'm thrilled already for you.

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  5. Clearly that's not Richard leaving the above comment, that's me. He'll kill me if he ever sees this :)

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  6. I totally read the first Richard comment in my brain's version of his voice and was so touched at how involved he was in Angela's Boston prep... Then I laughed hysterically at the second comment. Good times!

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  7. Sometimes buying stuff makes me feel better? (Which, like, let's not even get into that.)

    I do think the commemorative buying is odd at races, I dunno, if it's a huge deal to you, cool, you do you, but I find I end up wearing the shirts and stuff from the races that I like, not the ones that were a big accomplishment? The one caveat is: I have bought one of the same style t-shirts with all the names on the back of it for all my Ironmans, my theory being down the line I'll like having all these shirt over the years. It'll be, like, historic in its collection?

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