Threshold intervals are hard + not hip enough "for the Insta"

Let the actual training commence!!

Friends, I love running fast. Over the last couple of years I've also learned to love leisurely long runs and chunks of slow, easy base training, but letting loose for some heart-pounding intervals on the track or a comfortably-hard-but-not-TOO-hard tempo run is still my favorite part of training for a goal race. In fact, this is how I knew I needed a break back in February/March--when I'd see those workouts on my plan and feel dread, and wiping the training schedule clean felt like such a relief. And that's how I've known I'm ready to get back to work--starting to feel a bit bored with slow, easy jogging, and excited about scary-sounding paces.

Don't get me wrong, though; those first few post-base training workouts are never easy, and this week was no exception.

It was a short one since we didn't get back from Hawai'i until early Wednesday morning. Like most runners, at this point I know what all my funny little biomechanical things are, all the places that are injury prone if I don't tend to them with stretching and rolling and strength work (and let's be honest, I really have not been as of late). For some reason I still have this idea in my head that if I take a few days off or take a break from running due to vacation or recovery from a big race or whatever, all those things will heal up and I'll feel fresh and healthy and ready to run when I go back to it.

Except it's completely not true. Almost without exception, my cranky feet and gimpy right hip and curmudgeonly SI joints ALWAYS feel worse after a vacation or a week of post-race rest. It's actually getting back into running (and weirdly, running longer or faster or both) that settles them down (as long as I'm doing the work to take care of them).

EUGENE WEEK 13 OF 17: gym / run / laundry (oh and also work and sleep but that is maybe all).

If you had the great misfortune of ever seeing an episode of The Jersey Shore, please accept my deepest condolences. But also, you may have had the great fortune of encountering the gem of wisdom below, imparted to us by one of the great sages of our time.

Right up there with "Early to bed, early to rise" and "An apple a day," amirite?

This last week passed in a total haze, and at one point (maybe when I started writing up this post?) I was trying to think back to what the heck I did all week and literally all I could come up with was this kind of fuzzy montage of running and lifting and karate and OMG sooooo much laundry and oh yeah also there is the day job and the hours spent driving around the Bay Area as a result. Screw you, living expenses.

Oh and sleeping. Or lying in bed exhausted and cursing my brain for refusing to turn off. Or slumping on the couch thinking how I really should get ready for bed except I'm too tired to get off the couch.

But in any case, I was trying to mentally sum up my week and I kept coming up with "gym, run, laundry," so I guess what I'm saying is that although I can't really get down with the T what with my love of not having skin cancer & all, my life these days is otherwise a lot like living on the Jersey Shore, except with more running and going to like an actual job or whatever. It's weird because this is quite far from the highest training load I've ever had in my life but I can't actually remember a time I was marathon training and felt this exhausted and crappy all the time.

~*~*~EUGENE MARATHON WEEK 13 OF 17~*~*~

You guys, I counted up these numbers and I have to say I was pretty pissed at how wee the total seemed, because given how I feel that "total miles" number should be *at least*, like, 75.

* 39.5 total miles
* 17.5 easy
* 2 speed
* 20 long
* 3:00:00 strength work

Monday 3/28: a.m. strength work / p.m. karate

Tuesday 3/29: 2 warm up, 2 x (3 x 300m @ 6:25 / jog 100m) / jog 300m, 1.5 cool down = 5.2 total. This was my first non-easy run since the Oakland Half, and I did not, not, not feel ready to start doing speed work again, so I was thankful that this workout was short. Given the fact that it was just some short, fast intervals and not that many of them, I'm guessing the purpose had more to do with leg turnover/ neurological stuff than VO² max. I hit them all between 6:08 and 6:34 (& my last one was actually the fastest), but man, I'm glad it was only six because I felt CRAPTASTIC.

Wednesday 3/30: a.m. strength work / p.m. karate.

Thursday 3/31: 7.5 easy. And by "easy," I mean craptastic. Like two miles in I was like, "This run is bullshit."

Friday 4/1: a.m. strength work / PT / p.m. 20 long. Long story short, I kind of had to do this run on Friday instead of Sunday, because next weekend we're out of town wine tasting and sorry but there is no way a 20 mile long run is happening in Paso Robles, so I need to do it Friday before we leave. And doing a 20 miler this past Sunday and then ANOTHER 20 the following Friday seems like an epically bad idea, so I just shifted them both to Fridays (which means working on the weekends but whatever).

I probably don't need to say it, but this run, like all others this week, was complete and total balls. #its20miles #whatdidyouexpect #seriouslywhat

Saturday 4/2: Rest. I think I slept for like 10 hours which is not a thing I do.

Sunday 4/3: 7.5 easy, after sleeping for close to 12 hours. And again, by easy, I mean utter balls.

• Does your running every feel epically shit-tastic for weeks on end?
• Do you ever find yourself thinking mid-run, "Seriously, this run is like seeing a person I don't like at three social engagements in a row and I just can't with it anymore?" or "This run can go straight to hell?"
• How did you stop wanting to kick running in the balls, all day every day?

Asking for a friend.

Ways to Screw Up Your Tempo Run, If You Must.

I learned two things last Wednesday, which were 1) I currently have a *terrible* sense of pacing and 2) maybe don't just jump straight back into squats after a week and a half off, at least not with the same amount of weight.

I knew things would have to get shuffled around this week due to work travel. Basically I had no time on Monday or Tuesday to do anything but fly to LA, work well into the evening, get my plane home delayed 4.5 HOURS but at least manage to get rebooked on a different flight only 1.5 hours later and fly home. Oh, and turn 35. (I did mention how I spent my 35th birthday alone at the Hampton Inn, right? Good times!) So even though I don’t normally run on Wednesdays because of karate, I planned to leave a little early to try to get in a run.

Leading up to the 10K a couple weeks back, I’d skipped my squats and deadlifts so that my legs would be fresh, and then just due to some travel stuff Wednesday was the first day I got back to them. Now, I cannot explain it, but for some reason my foggy 6am brain decided that a GREAT idea was to jump right back into doing THE SAME AMOUNT of squats at THE SAME WEIGHT after 1.5 weeks of doing none.

Lolololol no.

I am not kidding that I was getting up and down like an old person for the rest of the day.

But back to that run I had planned for between work and karate!

Logistically, I really needed to do either my tempo run or track workout that day. I would’ve preferred the track, but I just knew there was no freaking way in Hades I was busting out 200m repeats in my current state. The tempo workout, on the other hand, seemed pretty reasonable, just a 2 mile warm-up, 4 miles at 7:40 pace, & a 2 mile cool down. Even given my current level of fitness (not great), 7:40s should feel like work, but only a little work.

Lolololol no.

My quads felt like hamburger meat. Like, think last 6 miles of a marathon. I mean to be honest I was expecting worse, but it was still pretty bad.

On top of this, I was relying on my watch more than usual to keep the pace because I am so out of practice at doing it by feel. And since GPS in my area is apparently just shit now for reasons I don’t understand, I ended up running the four tempo miles significantly faster than I should have, which of course made them feel even harder.

Notice how none of those numbers is 7:40.

That first mile was particularly bad, because it was uphill. Taking this into consideration, I was shooting for 8:00ish instead of 7:40 and feeling pretty depressed when I felt like I was working pretty hard and my watch was showing 8:10-8:15. So yeah, I was pretty pissed when it auto-lapped and I saw 7:36. It wasn’t quite as bad with the other three, but still, it’s annoying to have your “instantaneous pace” field vacillating between 7:40 & 7:50 & then auto-lap 10+ seconds faster.

(This is why I really do prefer to do workouts by feel/effort rather than getting glued to the watch, but I’m really out of practice at that right now, so I don’t know what else there is to do.)

So, yeah. Hoping to get some less annoying, more encouraging pace workouts in next week!

garminzzz, y'all.

I have three of them.

First up: The Forerunner 305. Purchased ca. 2010, this watch was my first foray into fancy-pants, GPS running device technology.

It was pretty much perfect in every way, up until about two years ago when it lost the ability to beep when it auto lapped (meaning if I wanted lap times, I had to keep checking it to be sure I didn't miss it) and soon after wouldn't charge without a ton of force pressing it against the charging cradle. (Like, it would charge if I sat there & squeezed it against the charger, but otherwise no.)

Fortunately, those issues coincided with a sweet sale at REI on the Forerunner 310XT at REI. The 310XT was far from new at that point, but since it was basically the exactly same watch as the 305 except for a bunch of triathlon stuff that was irrelevant me, AND it was cheaper than what I'd initially paid for the 305, this was a no-brainer.

Alas, last summer the band broke in a way that wasn't fixable & made the watch useless. Fortunately, REI has an extremely generous one-year replacement policy, so I was able to take it back.

Except...they no longer carried the 310XT at that point, and the closest thing they had was the Forerunner 220.

Friends, I hate this watch. HATE it. So. MUCH. The interface is dinkier, more confusing, and all-around less functional. It has almost none of the features you want and everything you don't. To name just a few issues...

• You can't set it to auto lap under .25 miles. Want to bust out some 200m's? TOUGH.
• When you first turn it on, it defaults to a 'locked' state, which requires performing some kind of insane Vulcan neck pinch of button-pressing to unlock.
• You can't manually lap if the watch is paused.
• You get three data fields--no more, no less.
• When you hit pause, it immediately reverts to a useless screen that shows only your ellapsed time, and if you want to know anything else, you have to hit the 'back' button.
• If you leave it paused for a certain amount of time, it goes into power save mode. Not the hugest deal ever, unless you happen to be standing in a start corral seconds before the gun.

On the plus side, though, it gives you a pretty little ribbon screen & a cute message any time it detects a PR or distance record!! :D :D :D Who the hell cares.

And, to add insult to injury, this piece of junk was like $90 MOAR expensive than the 310XT. (Yes, I got the 310XT on a big sale, but that was kind of half the point). But it was that, the barely-not-useless FR 10, or $160 more for a 610, which included even more features I didn't need.

Finally I got so fed up with the [**horribly offensive vulgar name that I will refrain from typing on the internet, but used to its face repeatedly, bonus points if you can guess what it was, it kind of sounds vaguely like 'Forerunner'**] 220 that I bought a refurbished 310XT on amazon (for the record, still more expensive than the sale price I got at REI). AND LO, my life was glorious.

Until about a month ago. When I plugged my < 1 year old refurbished 310XT in to charge, and nothing happened. I tried different outlets/powerstrips/USB dongels/etc., and no dice. Whatever the problem is, it seems to be either in the watch battery itself or the part of the charger that connects directly to the watch.

Teeth were gnashed and clothing was wrent.

Now, when we were getting ready to move, I had thrown that god-awful [horribly offensive nickname] 220 into the "stuff to go somewhere that is else" pile, namely, back to REI for a refund. But since I am such a good procrastinator, it was still hanging around in a box downstairs when the 310XT died. And since you don't go to the track with the GPS watch you want, you go to the track with the GPS watch you have, that shitty little travesty of a device once again found its way onto my wrist.

I would like to be able to tell you that this gave me an opportunity to practice #gratitude, to feel #blessed that I am fortunate enough to have access to this type of technology at all. Alas, while I remain fully aware of the insane levels of privilege I enjoy in virtually every aspect of my life, just a few runs with the [I hate you I hate you] 220 was enough to remind me what a god-awful piece of engineering failure it is. (If you engineered it....sorry. I'm sure you're still a good person; you just made a mistake.)

In fact, the experience of trying to use the [die in a fire] 220 for anything even remotely resembling an actual workout was indeed so traumatizing that on multiple evenings I found myself on the floor with the sad carcasses of my 305 & 310XT desperately trying to rehabilitate them. (I mean yes, I know I could send them back to Garmin for fixing, but from what I hear, they charge you almost what it would cost to just buy a new watch.)

With the 310XT, no luck. The thing just seemed dead all-around. BUT, after some trial and error, I found that if I took a sufficiently tight ponytail holder and twisted it twice around the 305 and its cradle, it applied sufficient pressure to get the thing to charge. #winning!

Friends, I can't tell you how excited I was to set out on a run with my beloved 305 for the first time in two years. It was just BLISS.

Except...It still doesn't beep when it auto-laps. And while I don't really care about that for easy or long runs, it's kind of key for speed & tempo/threshold workouts.

I wore the [son of a whore] 220 for my two track workouts last week and the thing was almost useless. In retrospect, I probably would have been better off with the 305, since at least you can set the damn thing to auto lap at intervals less than .25 miles.

When I got home from my Friday track workout, I plugged the [screw you & the horse you rode in on] 220 in to charge, & sort of half-heartedly messed around with the 310XT again, just, y'know, to see if something might magically happen. And then, AS IF A SOLSTICE MIRACLE (err...almost), the fucker suddenly started charging.

In the immediate future, this is good news. I *may* actually have a watch I can *halfway-kinda-sorta* reliably use for actual workouts. But it kind of gets me thinking about the harsh mistress that is a Garmin device, and it's tough to just go about your business, knowing what a fickle god you serve. I get that nothing lasts forever, but MAN, that's a lot of money for something that quits working properly after less than three years. I mean c'mon. A one year warranty? Basically I feel like as soon as I buy one, I have to start saving up for the next one.

I've played around with other models (Tom Tom, Polar, Timex), but none of them have ever had both the features & the ease-of-interface that made the 305 & 310XT so perfect. I WANT to stick with Garmin, but they're making it kind of tough. Is there anything out there comparable in features & interface that doesn't go tits-up after 2-3 years?

(Do not speak to me of Bia or iWatches because #no.)

Other questions I would be curious to have answered:

• Have you had any similar issues with these or other models?
• Have you ever sent something to Garmin for fixing? What's the dilly-o?
• Is there any way in Hades (in your personal opinion) to justify the bucks for newer models like the 620 or 920XT? My head says no, but my heart says "Sweet baby Jesus I just want something that works."

Also, random Garmin tip of the day: If your Garmin suddenly randomly won't turn on anymore, hold down 'lap' & 'mode' together for five seconds, then try turning it on again. I've had this issue with both the 305 & 310XT occasionally & it works every time.

NVM WEEK 14: Escape from SoCal (barely)

Guh. My life has been insane lately, mostly just due to work & mundane stuff & really not anything that is much worth talking about here.

I spent Week 14 in San Diego for work, which I was kind of excited about because warm weather & sunshine!

Yyyyeahhh....Things didn't quite pan out that way. In fact a lot of things about this week didn't pan out the way I'd planned.

My flight was Monday afternoon. The school site I was working at was a 4 minute cab ride from the airport, as was my hotel. Then, as I was walking out the door for the airport, I got an email from the project director saying they'd changed the site and now instead of meeting in San Diego we were to meet in San Marcos, over an hour of Southern California freeway north.

Much cursing ensued. I frantically researched San Marcos hotels near the new site, made a reservation, and also reserved a rental car. Also I cancelled the old hotel reservation & learned that SURPRISE!!! Cancelling day-of means you get to pay for the first night plus cancellation fee. GOOD TIMES!! :D (Hey, at least it wasn't my money.)

Also, I decided to be daring & reserve a Smart Car. I cannot remember now why this seemed like a good idea.

NOOOOOO don't do it no good very bad

Once in San Diego, I picked up my Smart Car & was deeply into the process of regretting my choice after less than a quarter mile. I regretted it even more intensely once I got on the freeway.

I will now list the reasons why no one should drive a smart car, ever.

• The transmission is like riding in a car with a manual transmission with someone who does not know how to drive it.
• You try accelerating onto the freeway (in SoCal!!!) on two cylinders.
• I once drove a car down A4 along Loch Ness in Scotland with no power steering. This wasn't quite that bad but it was close.
• The thing is so light that the faintest of breezes buffets it all over the freeway. A couple of times cars whooshed past me at give or take 100 mph & I'm pretty sure I felt the wheels come off the ground.

Basically, every minute I was in the effing thing, I felt certain I was going to die. My only consolation was that the hotel was three minutes from the school, and other than driving back to the airport at the end of the week, I wouldn't have to spend a ton of time in it.

Ha. Haha. Ahahaha.

Tuesday morning I made the three minute drive to the new site in San Marcos. No one there knows who I am or what I'm talking about. Because the universe is not without a sick sense of irony, I check my work email just in time to receive another email from the project director that OOPS! Just kidding. It wasn't San Marcos; it was Chula Vista.

Yeah so Chula Vista is basically in Mexico.

I wanted to be like, "Dude. For all intents & purposes, you've sent me to the wrong country." But I am a professional and so instead I got in my little smart car death trap & drove the 1.5 hours to the border Chula Vista site & did what I could do in the remaining time.

At this point I really couldn't justify changing my hotel again, so I just drove back & forth between Chula Vista and San Marcos all week. On top of this, there is basically no good food anywhere in this area (with the exception of a couple of Lebanese/Mediterranean spots, & you can bet I found them ALL) and it is Southern California so god forbid someone give you takeout that doesn't come in nineteen giant styrofoam containers. Also any and all salads are pretty much just a shredded head of iceberg and/or Romaine. My Greek salad had carrots and pickles in it. The wine selection was not much better.

Sometimes I kind of joke about having been ruined for food & beverages by San Francisco, which is all fun & games until somebody gets sent to Southern California for a week & suddenly I'm spending my evenings weeping quietly into a styrofoam box of Romaine and warm pickles.

This is the one edible type of meal in the greater San Marcos, CA area.

I may have cried a few tears of joy when I got off the plane at SFO.

~*~*~NVM WEEK 14 OF 16~*~*~

Grand Total: 33 miles

* 18 easy
* 15 long

Monday: Rest / fly to San Diego

Tuesday: 7 easy

I'd planned to do an 8 miler outside as soon as I got done with work on Tuesday, but a) two hours in the death trap had left me an exhausted mental & emotional wreck & b) it was still 90° at that point and there was just no way THAT was happening. By the time I felt semi-human it was dark which I didn't feel great about, so treadmill it was. Which mainly just served to remind me how much I hate hate HATE treadmills. At six miles I felt pretty crappy but decided to try to keep pushing; at 6.75ish my body was waving the big red NOPE flags (all the pains in right hip/feet) so I called it good at 7.

Wednesday: Rest

This was my worst day. The sheer depression of being alone in a southern California food desert with naught but a death trap of a clown car in which to travel anywhere really got to me psychologically. I could not rally myself to run in the 90° heat or drag myself anywhere NEAR that treadmill for a second time. So big, fat fail.

Thursday: Work/fly home.

When I went to bed Wednesday night I was feeling slightly less sorry for myself & was all like, "I AM TOTALLY GOING TO GET UP AT 4:30 AM & RUN AT LEAST SIX MILES." Guess what did not even remotely come close to happening.


It was still 90° & I was missing SF Beer Week, so I def needed a smoked
porter while I waited for SFO to let our plane finally leave. THANKS OBAMA.

Friday: 10 easy

The start of this run was not promising. I felt like I was landing hard and wobbling all over the place & just generally not hacking it. Things finally settled in around mile 6, but ugh. Before then, not pretty. Plus, it was hot. And by hot, I mean San Francisco hot, so like 75°. But full sun!

Also, Friday was awesome because we went to see my favorite band in Berkeley, a little husband-and-wife duo from Ohio called Over The Rhine. They were amazing as always.

Saturday: Rest

I went back & forth on Saturday about whether I should try to run. I felt fine, but kept getting all hand-wring-ey about how Saturday rest day + Sunday long run has been working really well for me, & in the end I decided not to chance it. Don's parents got in that afternoon & we went down to their hotel at Fisherman's Wharf & had fresh crab legs & fantastic wine for dinner.

Sunday: 15 long

I woke up feeling crappy & did not want to do this run at all. We had afternoon plans with Don's parents so I had to get up early to do it. Really I was suppose to run 18, but I miscalculated time-wise and 15 was all I had time for. (Which, honestly, I was not that crushed about considering it was, again, about a billion degrees out & full sun. Okay like 80°. BUT STILL!)

Conservatory of Flowers, looking resplendent as always.


Also picking up more downed trees from last weekend's crazy wind storms.


This one is just because this blog was getting dangerously low on green smoothie pictures. I understand if you were on the brink of not coming back. If you want the recipe, it is "Put some fruit & yogurt & green shit in a blender." You are welcome.

So, yeah. Not a total waste of a week, but about 10-12 miles short of what I'd planned on. Good thing this is still fake-training? I guess?

NVM WEEK 9: pppphhhhhbbbbbttttt.....

You're making me tired.

In case it wasn't obvious, that was the sound of this past week (running-wise, yes, but also kind of in general).

This will be short & sweet because, honestly, there just isn't much to say. It was one of those weeks when the universe seemed to be sending me big, giant red flags to just not bother trying to run at all, and for the most part, I listened to it because I know impending disaster when I smell it.

Monday: a.m. strength work / p.m. karate

I'd planned to get up early for some strength work at the gym, but then I didn't sleep Sunday night (again), and honestly, felt so awful that the only reason I actually went in to work was because it was the first day back after the holidays & there was a bunch of stuff going on that I just could not miss unless I was actively debilitatingly ill. I wouldn't have even gone to karate except that none of the other instructors could make it. (Don & I compared symptoms to see which of us was the least sick & I won. Or lost, I suppose.)

Tuesday: a.m. strength work / p.m. 8 easy

Thankfully I was so exhausted Monday night that I passed out early and actually slept a reasonable amount. The eight miles, though, really sucked. I'd thought I was getting better but I could barely breathe the whole time (asthma/respiratory problems) and every step felt incredibly hard. On top of that, I started having pain in my right hip/thigh/adductor (the messed up one) for the first time in a while, and also really bad shin splints in my left leg (which hasn't been a problem in over three years now). Basically everything hurt and it felt awful and I really, really had to push myself to even finish eight easy miles. (Over time I've kind of learned that when old things suddenly all start hurting at once, it usually just means I'm generally tired & running with crappy form.) On top of THAT, I then had to move a bunch of boxes from the old house to the new one, which aggravated everything even further. (Maybe I can count that as more strength work?? Eh?? EHHHH?? Okay fine.)

Wednesday: a.m. doctor / p.m. karate

Because I've been getting so fed up with my insomnia, I went to the doctor Wednesday morning to see if they could adjust something & maybe fix it. We are trying some new things & hopefully that will help. :-/ Still not feeling great, still moving boxes.

Thursday: Rest / work from home

Woke up feeling worse in the respiratory department but not completely debilitated, so decided to work from home. Between not being able to breathe and still limping a little thanks to the shin splints / right hip pain, trying to run seemed like a bad idea. Alas, there will still more boxes to move.

Friday: a.m. aborted strength workout / be sick at home

Woke up early morning feeling worse than ever, but also feeling guilty about working at home twice already and getting in one strength workout so far that week. So, in a moment of monumentally poor judgment, I dragged myself out of bed and all the way to the gym in Redwood City. Usually physical activity makes me feel better, but after 20 minutes of giving it an honest try, every little movement was making me pant and wheeze, I couldn't breathe through my nose, and had a splitting headache. So I drove back home, called into work, and went to bed.

Saturday: Rest / move

I was starting to feel better Friday night & had all kinds of grand plans for getting in 10 easy miles on Saturday before my 20 miler on Sunday. And I definitely did feel better in the asthma/respiratory department, but just a few quick strides down the hallway told me that I was still having a lot of shin splints pain and my right hip was still unhappy as well. Which, honestly, was fine, because we had a lot of house stuff we wanted to get done and I would have felt really bad sticking Don with it, especially since I was planning to stick him with it for something like 4 hours on Sunday.

Sunday: 20 long 10 easy

Didn't sleep much Saturday night, woke up feeling crappy (but at least not sick), & proceeded to go back to sleep until noon. I had dinner plans with some fellow runner friends, so I knew if I was going to actually take a crack at the 20, I pretty much had to get up, eat, & get running ASAP. I definitely felt better than I had; there was some tibia / hip pain, but it was manageable and not awful, so I did give myself some props for being so sick I couldn't run responsible and resting instead of trying to run for the past three days. About three miles in, though, I just started to feel awful. Every step felt super hard and even running 11:00 miles, my heart rate was through the roof and I could not for the life of me slow it down. I probably could have forced myself through 20 miles of that, but it didn't seem like a particularly good idea, so instead I forced myself through 10 miles which was tough enough as it was. I know it was the right decision, but I still finished super annoyed. (But hey, at least I had a little extra time before dinner, so there was that.)

The good news, though! I'm feeling a lot better this week, so hopefully that means at least all the skipping runs & sleeping a lot & calling in sick actually accomplished something besides making me feel like a lazy slob.

(Still waiting on that normal week, BTW. :-/ )

Pardon me while I get my shit together.

This is pretty much how it's been this week.

Do you ever have one of those days where you realize you're kind of hypnotically watching the entirety of your psychological & emotional faculties careen towards a seemingly inevitable & spectacular train wreck, half-heartedly thinking, "Well, gee. That's too bad." And then something in your brain suddenly snaps out of it, & you're like, "Ooooookay. Back the crazy train up for just a sec." That's pretty much how my Friday run went down.

Tuesday's track workout was sketchy & unsettling. Wednesday's easy seven miles sucked royal ass, as all Wednesday runs seem set on doing. By the end of the run my glutes & hamstrings were barely firing, my shins felt tender & painful all evening, & I was absolutely dead on my feet.

I opted to get some extra sleep Thursday morning instead of biking (let's be real; I can't even remember the last time I biked) in hopes that my legs would heal up, but all day at work I could feel sharp little stabbing pains in my shins, especially the right one, and a dull ache in the area in my left calf where I had the stress fracture. Plus I still felt exhausted. By the time I was on my way home, I was thinking very seriously that this might be a good day to skip my run. It's one thing to run through it when you feel worn out, but my legs seemed to be frantically waving big, giant yellow flags at me, and there is no seven mile run on earth that's worth a serious injury (unless you're being chased by hungry cannibals or something).

And Friday morning my legs felt GREAT. No pain!! No soreness!! All the strength work!! No problem!! Friday's marathon pace run was sooo happening. I spent my drive home congratulating myself on my very smart, very rational decision making the day before and feeling smug about the blog post I would write where I would be all like, "Yes, it was hard to take a day off, but Friday's ***epically amazingly fantastic*** MP run just goes to show that listening to my body was the smart choice." Just kidding, I would never blog about "listening to my body" non-ironically. 2011 called & it wants its running blog humble-brag cliché back.

But no. Friday evening I was back to stopping every three blocks or so during my two-mile warm-up to stretch/shake out my insanely tight & painful Achilles/lower calves. It was so painful at times that I was tearing up & seriously considering taking another day off. I did not see how I was going to get through 30 minutes of marathon pace running like that, but sometimes when I run a little faster it goes away, so I figured I'd give it at least a few minutes of trying to run in the low eight's & see how I felt.

Thankfully, speeding up did seem to take care of the pain in my Achilles. But trying to get up to speed was so, so hard. Most of the time recently even my easy pace has usually been under 8:20, but now I found myself working really hard & still seeing 8:30-8:40 on my watch. Heading into the Panhandle I tried to pick it up and did finally manage to start seeing the numbers I wanted, but the amount of effort required was decidedly NOT what I wanted to be doing in a marathon. And, my shin bones were hurting again.

I never stop between traffic lights in the Panhandle, but this time I couldn't help it. That was the low point, the point where I just felt panicked and confused and like a massive Steamroller of Ruination was rolling right over my confidence and world view and sense of how reality functions and smooshing them into a pathetic, twitching smear of self-pity and desperation. My soul may have ugly cried a bit.

And then--I don't know how or why--something clicked.

Wait a second. Bring the pity train back to the station. Let's think about this rationally for a minute.

I'm running uphill. Into a 20 mph headwind. On tired legs. Going > 00:10/mile faster that I really need to.

^ That.

After that I was a lot less hysterical. I slowed myself down & just tried to get to the top of the hill with marathon effort level & stopped worrying about the pace. Once I was over the hill, I did my best to stick to that: Is this how hard you want to be working in Santa Rosa at mile 10? Mile 20? Mile 24? No? Slow down, then.

Naturally things were MUCH much easier when I turned around & headed back towards home, going downhill with the (kind of ridiculous) wind at my back. (Seriously, at one point I thought I actually felt the wind lift me off the ground a little mid-stride.) My shins still hurt occasionally, but as long as I paid careful attention to how my feet landed, it was manageable. (Still, I did ice the heck out of them when I got home, and they remain a touch unhappy.)

Le splits:

Mile 1 was the uphill-headwind mile, so that was DEFINITELY too fast. Mile 2 didn't need to be that fast, but it was about half downhill-headwind, half uphill-tailwind, so not too egregious. Mile 3 & the last .75 were both downhill with tailwind and felt really easy, so those are probably fine. (I do find it kind of weird that my heart rate was so low on that first super tough mile, and that it was highest on the mile that felt the easiest. My target range for MP runs is ~170-190ish, though, so it's kind of nice to be under that & running a little faster than my rough "goal" pace.)

Speaking of goals, I know I need to manage my expectations about this race. It won't be a massive PR. This will be a short training cycle coming off a bad injury & lots of time off, and though the start is at 6:00 am, it's still Santa Rosa in August so the temps probably won't be ideal. If I can average an 8:10 pace & just BQ, I'll be happy. If I can eek out a little more, say 8:07, & actually have a chance of getting in to Boston, I'll be thrilled. Those paces already feel pretty easy (y'know, when I'm not running uphill & into the wind), so job #1 right now is just increasing my endurance without ending up hurt. I don't need to run every single workout to manage that. I mean, don't get me wrong; I'd like to run them all. But I'd more like to spend August 23-24 in Santa Rosa & not in a PT session/doctor's office.

One of Those "Keeping It Real" Posts

During my time on the internet, I have learned that it is very important to blog readers that bloggers "keep it real," which means maintaining a careful balance of posts expounding on how awesome-sauce/amazing your life is vs. how "real" (ie shitty) it is. With this post I hope I am doing my Bloggerly Duty re: the rainbows-and-unicorns-to-realness ratio.

So. Ahem.

Tuesday was the stupidest day ever. First, I had to drive 40 miles to get to the South Bay butt-early in the morning for the second day in a row (!), which means I couldn't do my a.m. bike ride & there was just no way I was doing that in the afternoon and then going to the track. Then, although it was bright & warm & sunny in my neighborhood, it was cold & windy & dark at Kezar Stadium.

What it was like in the Mission.

What it was like in the Sunset three miles away.

To add insult to injury, the track was closed, which meant I had to do my speed work on the upper concrete track, which I hate with the red-hot passion of a thousand suns. AND THEN, my run totally sucked ass.

Beforehand I was like, "Cool, just 2 hard 1200m's. Easy." But then, although I had been instructed to run them at 7:10 pace, I accidentally ran the first one at 6:55 pace, which meant that I couldn't really do the easy 1:00 recovery jog I was supposed to do in between the two & also (I was pretty sure) that I would totally tank on the second one. I tried to slow it down closer to 7:10 but (even though I thought I was actually going to die) ended up running it just slightly faster than the first one. I am not really sure how this happened.

The worst part was that my cool down utterly, epically sucked. I finished the 1.5 miles, but not without resorting to stopping every quarter-to-a-third of a mile to shake out the burning in my legs. Also that stupid pain in my right calf was back.

So I guess what I'm saying is:

Yeah; that about sums it up.

Keeping it real, yo.

Carbohydrate Math (Or, Why Low-Calorie Sports Drinks Are Useless)

F*** you, Gatorade "G2". You had one job.

Fair warning--this whole post is about sports drinks & their carbohydrate contents & some things that really really piss me off about some road races. So if you don't want to read a whole post just about that, you might want to come back later. Just putting that out there.

If you read regularly you may recall this race report in which I did a spot of quick bitching about the aid stations. Not the logistics or the volunteers; all that was wonderful. My complaint was about the low/no-calorie sports drink.

Before I got into road racing, I spent many years running long distances without eating or drinking anything unless I was going more than 10-15 miles or it was particularly hot, and even then, I only drank water. That was back in the days when I could not have told you how far a marathon was or what pace I was running and had never heard of Gu or Garmins or tempo runs or $12 socks. When I would just throw on a cotton T-shirt & a $6 pair of shorts from Target & run until, I dunno, it seemed like a good idea to stop. In all that time I never had any problems with dehydration, heatstroke, hyponatremia, "bonking," etc. Sure, I'd usually start to feel thirsty at some point, but water fountains were scarce, and putting up with a little discomfort seemed infinitely preferable at the time to the annoyance to carrying a bottle large enough to be of any use.

Apparently, this does not make me a freak of nature. In The New Rules of Marathon & Half-Marathon Nutrition, Matt Fitzgerald opens the chapter on race nutrition thusly:

The human body is not designed to absorb food or drink while running...When we start to run our body shunts blood flow away from the digestive organs to the muscles, impeding the breakdown & absorption of food...Together, these factors add up to a simple message from our body to our conscious faculties: Do not eat or drink while running. We can disregard this message to some degree without suffering ill effects. But drinking or eating more than a modest amount while running is almost certain to cause debilitating gastrointestinal symptoms.

So HAH!

On the other hand...

Drinking (and perhaps also eating) a tolerable amount of the right stuff enhances performance in marathons and half marathons. To eat and drink nothing therefore is to needlessly limit one's performance

Which, okay, is a truth I accepted once I got a Garmin & some $12 socks & started entering half marathons & trying to get faster. But even then, I never used gels, only sports drink, and then only in races. I'd read over & over again that our bodies typically store ~2000 Kcalories worth of glycogen, and I needed < 1300 to get through a half (since some of it comes from fat), so really, what was the point? Gu shmu. I carried a little watered-down Gatorade for the electrolytes, but that was all.

I started experimenting with gels when I signed up for my first full, because I can do basic math (26.2 miles => ~2600 Kcal > ~2000 Kcal => even though fat will contribute some calories, more carbs will likely be needed). Based on a few back-of-envelope calculations, I decided on carrying the same 24 oz 50/50 bottle of Gatorade/water as in a half, & then also doing gels at miles 6, 11, 15, 19, & 23, which I think came to around 700-800 Kcal of CHO (that is fancy chemistry-speak for carbohydrate) in all. (2000 + 750 > 2600. Math! :D ) I'd never looked at ingredients lists and my selection criteria was generally limited to whichever brand is the thinnest / most runny (read: easier to swallow), in whichever flavors didn't make me gag.

These were the first gels I ever bought, circa
September 2011. Memories!

Until recently, I had not thought any harder about race hydration / nutrition than that, so getting to those chapters in "The New Rules" was an eye-opener. I still whole-heartedly recommend the whole book (it's pretty short) to anyone actively working on improving their times, but here are a few factoids that I found particularly interesting:

• We all have different "carb tolerances"--ie, how much CHO can you put in your stomach how quickly without wrecking it. In lab studies most people running at a moderate pace can tolerate 40-50g per hour, although some can tolerate 60g/hour or more, and some rare birds can even tolerate up to 90g/hour. (These tend to be your high-end ultra-runners.) On the other hand, some people have considerably lower tolerances, and some people are really unable to consume anything at all without feeling ill.
• Generally, as you run faster, your tolerance decreases. (Ie, you probably can't consume CHO as quickly at half marathon pace as you can at marathon or long run pace.)
• Generally, thinner / more liquidy carbs are tolerated better than thicker ones at faster paces, with sports drink tolerated best. (Ie, the thicker gels that sit just fine in your stomach during a marathon may make you queasy at half marathon pace, & if you struggle with gels, you may do fine with sports drink.)
• In races shorter than 75 minutes, extra carbs are unlikely to do anything. (This is true whether you're an elite half-marathoner or a newbie walk/jogging a 10K.)
• In races longer than 75 minutes, 30g of CHO per hour is the smallest "effective dose." (Ie, in studies where runners of similar ability were matched, those who consumed 30g/hour or more consistently outperformed those who consumed less than that, and there was no difference between those who consumed under 30g/hour and those who consumed no carbs at all.)
• Above 30g/hour, consuming CHO faster seems to predict better performance--if your stomach can tolerate it. (The good news is that many runners find that they can improve their carb tolerance through practice.)
• There is evidence that a small amount of protein enhances the effect of consuming carbs during an endurance event.

Well. At that point I decided it was maybe time to revisit the subject. I mean if there's some easy fix I could make, I didn't see any reason not to try.

First, clearly my original assumption that extra carbs don't do anything in races shorter than 20 miles was out the window. But according to Fitz, how much CHO should I be shooting for in, say, a half marathon?

I am desperately hoping (fingers crossed) that I'll be back in sub-1:40 shape for Kaiser Half in February, so let's estimate that I'll be out there running for ~1.65 hours (around 1:39). According to Fitzgerald, that means that in order to see any benefit from extra carbs whatsoever, I should aim for 1.65 * 30g = 49.5 (so round to 50g).

When I run with a bottle, I usually fill it with 12 oz water & 12 oz Gatorade. Gatorade contains ~1.7g CHO per oz, so I get 12 oz * 1.7g/oz = 20.4g over the course of the race.Ie, less than half of the minimum effective amount. Occasionally, if it's warm, I might finish the bottle before the end of the race & grab an additional cup or two from an aid station, but that's only maybe 10g more at best.

Without a bottle, I usually grab one or two cups from each aid station. The benefit there is that carrying a bottle obviously sucks. The down sides are 1) you aren't in control of when you get to drink, 2) you never know how much sports drink will be in the cup, and 3) you don't necessarily know what will be in the cup.

Which brings me back to Berkeley a few weeks back. I'd been hoping to try some of this stuff out, including not carrying a bottle (which Fitz suggests entirely cancels out any extra benefit you get from the carbs), so I went to the website to find out what sports drink they were pouring. Under "Water and Aid Stations" the page read only "More information coming soon!" As that was the night before the race, I did not have a lot of hope that that was the case.

(I totally get that this was partly my fault. I should have checked earlier & emailed someone.)

My concern wasn't because of some diva-ish preference for this sports drink over that one or some miniscule difference in the amount of carbs in Gatorade vs Cytomax vs whatever. My concern was that I've been to several races lately where the sports drink on the course doesn't contain any carbs at all--just electrolytes. And if that was the case, I was just going to carry my bottle of pure Gatorade and a gel & see how I did with that amount of CHO.

I asked a volunteer at the info booth but all she could tell me was the flavor ("berry," if you're curious). A few minutes later I heard the announcer mention the name of the sports drink sponsor but didn't quite catch it, so I went up to him with my most sheepish, I-know-I'm-a-big-dork look & was all like, "This is probably a really weird question, but..."

He said it was something called Vega, which I had never heard of. At that point I guessed he already thought I was probably the weirdest person there so it couldn't hurt to get even nerdier about the whole thing.

"What I'm really trying to figure out is if it has calories in it. Like, y'know. Carbs. Like, for running."

He gave me kind of a duh look. "Oh, I'm sure it does," he nodded. "I mean it's like Gatorade, you know? Sugar and electrolytes and stuff. It must, right?"

Confidence = not inspired. But thanks for trying, announcer man.

"I think there are some samples over there." He gestured toward one of the info booths. I did not find any samples, but I thought, Surely he's right? Surely a real, actual race run by an experienced group like SFM will not be using a low/no calorie sports drink in a half marathon?

So I left my bottle in the car. And I knew the second I took a swig at the first aid station that I had been betrayed, that there were no calories here to be had, at least not enough to be of any use. (Also the weird fake-sugar flavor was nauseating.)

Out of curiosity, I looked it up after the race. Sure enough: "A natural, alkaline-forming drink mix, free from sugar and artificial sweeteners, Vega Sport Electrolyte Hydrator is formulated with all the essential electrolytes your body needs to stay hydrated during workouts.* With zero calories per serving, Electrolyte Hydrator tastes great, so you can sip it not just during your workout, but throughout the day.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration."

Facepalm.

No carbs = not appropriate for supporting endurance athletes through an endurance event. Period.

So yeah. Lately it seems that relying on aid stations means you may not get any liquid carbs at all. Which is NBD I guess if you're just out to have fun or do a social event with friends. But if Fitzgerald is right, it does seem to mean that you can't expect to have your best possible race, particularly at a half marathon where the pace is faster & thicker, denser carb sources like gels may not be tolerated as well (or at all) for a lot of people.

I don't know yet what the sports drink will be at Kaiser, but I'm hoping it will be something with calories so I can experiment with getting the right amount of carbs while also not carrying a bottle. If that's the case, I think I may try something like the following & see how it goes:

Pre-race: Accel gel w/ protein -> 18g
Mile 4: Accel gel w/ protein -> 18g
Mile 6.2: 1 cup sports drink (~3 oz?)-> ~5g

***1 hour mark = 41g***

Mile 8: Accel gel w/ protein -> 18g
Mile 8.4: 1 cup sports drink (~3 oz?)-> ~5g
Mile 11.1: 1 cup sports drink (~3 oz?)-> ~5g

***Total = 69g hehehehe***

This will be massively, MASSIVELY many more carbs than I've ever consumed during a half marathon, but still on the conservative side in terms of what Fitzgerald says most runners can tolerate. Between now and then, I need to use some of my long runs to try to figure out just how my tolerance stacks up.

So my, real, actual questions for you (ie not fake/obvious ones designed to generate more blog traffic, eff that noise, I am so sick of it) are:

1) Are you this nit-picky about how many carbs you consume and when and how fast, or do you just, y'know, knock back a gel or two when it feels right? How has that worked out for you?

2) Thoughts re: carb tolerance? I've never felt sick from gels / sports drink while running, but as noted, my intake is apparently pretty anemic by Fitzgerald's standards.

I Really Have Got to Figure Out Treadmill Running

Today was kind of a comedy of errors. Lately I have been pretty good about packing my food & gym stuff the night before, but apparently last night I was not fully awake. Halfway through the work day I went to put my hair up & realized that I had forgotten to grab a hair tie.

Fail.

But I grabbed a rubber band from the supply room & soldiered on. After work I went to the gym to run 6 miles on the treadmill (GAAAAAAHHH) & then go to an evening yoga class, only to find that I had forgotten to pack running socks, and more importantly, running SHOES.

Fail.

Fortunately I was at least *wearing* socks that I could feasibly run in, and an old pair of running shoes that had been relegated to walking-around shoes since I'd decided at some point I wasn't crazy about them for running. I wouldn't run a marathon in them or anything but they were functional for a few easy miles.

Post yoga, I went back to the locker room to change out of my sweaty tank & sports bra & into a nice, clean, dry T-shirt for the 45 minute commute home. Or not.

Fail.

I may or may not need to start sleeping more.

Yep. Pretty much what it's like.

Other things I need to do include figuring out how to run on a treadmill without feeling like I want to shoot myself in the face. Four miles is tough. Six is freaking miserable. I brought my headphones this time so I could at least listen to a podcast, but apparently the misery of running on a treadmill trumps a cool podcast. I kept realizing that I had no idea what had happened in the podcast for the last five minutes because I was too busy dwelling on the mind-numbing monotony of the situation.

I figured I'd warm up at a relatively slow pace, then gradually speed it up. But running at the slow pace actually seemed reasonably hard, so I didn't speed it up. The construction of the treadmill also makes it really difficult to have a natural arm swing & I think because of that my shoulders felt tense & uncomfortable the whole time. And my Achilles tendons were back to feeling like steel cables.

God, I counted down the tenths of miles. Treadmill, let me count the ways in which you completely and totally suck. My lower legs felt epically trashed after what was my slowest run of 2013 thus far.

But then I realized yoga was starting in 10 minutes, & I'd left my mat in the car, so I kind of sprinted out into the parking lot & back.

And felt GREAT. Whaaaaaa??

So now I think part of my problem is that while running at a slower warm-up pace on the treadmill seems easier, it's actually not easier in terms of impact. What is probably easier is running at a faster, more efficient pace, so the next time I'm on the 'mill I'm going to give that a shot & see if it helps.

Any other dreadmill tips? I will take anything I can get at this point. :P

It Slices!! It Dices!!

Let's talk about text books for a moment.

Remember those days, when you would hoof it over to the campus book store in September or January, hold your nose, & hand over your credit card in exchange for the privilege of hauling home 50 pounds and $500 worth of paper and cardboard? Or, alternatively, scouring the internet/campus paper for used but serviceable versions of the same in hopes of saving yourself $100 or so?

You may have also had the unfortunate experience of arranging to buy used off a friend the five-and-a-half-pound Calc book going for $160 new, only to find at the beginning of the semester that a new edition has been released and you will now have the privilege of paying nearly $200 for that book alone.

This particular situation used to piss me off to no end. Just what, you may rightly ask, makes edition 712 so much better than edition 711?

NEW COLORS!!

MOAR PICTURES!!

A SPECIAL SECTION ON HOW TO USE YOUR GRAPHING CALCULATOR!!

AN EXTRA APPENDIX ON STUDY SKILLS!!

SEVEN NEW PROBLEMS IN EACH CHAPTER!!

UPDATED POP CULTURE REFERENCES IN WORD PROBLEMS!!

Seriously?

You know what this is textbook publishing industry code for? "Hey peeps! The market is completely glutted with the thousands of perfectly serviceable calculus textbooks we sold two years ago, so no one is buying new ones. Brooks Cole gotta get paid, son! So here's essentially the same book covering the exact same content with seven new pictures and a new cover slapped onto it. Enjoy!"

When it comes to some fields of study, I get why new versions need to be released every couple of years. Technology, for instance. Some of the sciences. Modern history. But guys, basic calculus hasn't changed significantly in half a millennium. That's kind of how basic math works. I can see updating a book's look every ten years or so, maybe (I mean, I don't want a math book with that weird seventies font all over it) and using that opportunity to say "You know, I bet we can streamline this chapter a little" or "People are teaching this content more in this order lately" or whatever. But dudes. Releasing a new version every two years in a field where the content does not change is just a little too blatant in the "squeeze every nickel" department.

Here's the other hard thing about textbooks in subjects like calculus. Because the material has been exactly the same for hundreds and hundreds of years, and hundreds and hundreds of books on the subject have been written by hundreds and hundreds of people, textbook companies are left with precious little ground upon which to compete with each other. I mean, it's not like you can be all, "ooooOOOOoooh, we added this extra-special topic that no other book has!" Because if it's part of calculus, it's in all the other books already.

And that's what leads them to advertising the rockin' CD-ROM, the super-essential section on study skills, and all the OMG AWESOME NEW COLORS & PICTURES!!1!

So what does all that have to do with running? Mainly because that's the way I feel every time I see an ad for a new model of running shoe. Take a couple of weeks ago, for example, when I spotted a post from Brooks inviting me to "get a sneak peak at the Adrenaline 13!"

Um, what? Didn't the Adrenaline 12 just come out? I haven't even worn my pair long enough to review it. I still have 11's in the rotation, for gods' sakes!

It's shoe model whiplash, people.

Still, I read on. So what's new and exciting for the Adrenaline 13?

GROOVES!! ALL KINDS OF GROOVES!! OMNI GROOVES!! OMEGA GROOVES!! GROOVES GROOVES GROOVES!!

Also something called "Flextra." And don't forget the OMG AWESOME NEW COLORS!!

It sounds like all of this (except the new colors) is supposed to help make the shoe more flexible. Which...I don't know. If you are someone who is concerned with how flexible your running shoes are, I don't see you looking to Adrenalines to fit that bill. (It is a stability shoe, after all.) I'm currently trying to work my way out of stability shoes & into more flexible ones, so in order to keep from wrecking my feet, I'm mostly alternating between the solid, stable Adrenalines & my more flexible Saucony Mirages & Newton Motions. And as far as I understand, the heel drop is going to remain pretty significant, and given that, frankly I don't much see the point of making the shoe more flexible.

I mean, I could be wrong. I'm willing to give it a try. But I cringe a little bit every time I hear some new high-tech-sounding buzz word come out of a shoe company.

Back when Brooks announced plans to scrap the Launch, Becki at The Middle Miles wrote this paragraph:

Don't get me wrong, I understand that the industry has to progress. I'm really glad that our choices today are a little more modern than the Onitsuka Tiger, Nike Daybreak, and Brooks Chariot. But I've also worked as an engineer, and I've seen the effects of overengineering a product. The beauty of the Launch is its simplicity. Not every shoe needs a laundry list of technology...it just needs to work.

That pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject of running shoes (and Calculus textbooks, for that matter). It's hard for me to really believe that changes on this level really make all that much of a difference. Instead, what it actually does is cause those of us who adored the shoe just the way it was to gnash our teeth and rent our garments when we find out we can't get it anymore and are back at square one. Like Becki, I agree that our favorite models should be updated when there have been significant improvements in our understanding of running mechanics or in the quality of available materials. But do we really need a new Brooks Adrenaline every year or two? Is the nascent 12, which I've barely had a chance to break in properly, already that woefully outdated? Is it too much to ask that you give me the opportunity to really fall in love with a shoe and build a long-term relationship with it before you yank it out of my hands and say, "Here, this one is mostly the same, except for how it's not. Have that!"

I wish I were less cynical about these types of things, but as with the Calculus books, yanking a perfectly comfortable, perfectly functional shoe in order to replace it with a mostly-the-same-but-flashier-and-pricier version with a bunch of new high-tech-sounding pseudo-jargon attached to it kind of smells like a company prioritizing making a buck over meeting the needs of its customers. Sigh.

With Great Power...

...comes great responsibility. I like to remind myself of this fact every time I write a blog post. And by "great power," I mean the power I have to look/sound like a complete idiot/asshole/moron/some other flavor of undesirable to strangers by writing things on the internet. Earlier today I wrote a bitchy/moany/whiney post, then re-read it this evening & deleted it because *I* found it annoying and that is never a good sign. You're welcome, future self.

Instead, I just have some Things to share. (I am not blogger-chic/-trendy enough to choose a number that starts with the same phoneme as the day of the week, so apologies for that. Frankly, I'm not totally clear on what day of the week it even is right now, so maybe it's just as well.) I will warn you ahead of time that they might not have much of a "thesis" or "point" or "basic coherency" or any of those other mainstream fancy pants writin' conventions that the Elitist Establishment is always pushing. That's life sometimes. Or blogging. Or whatever.

1) First, on the off chance that you don't read this girl's blog, then OMG you really must start. While I enjoy reading many, many blogs for a myriad of different reasons, I read Shelby's mainly because it never fails to crack me right the hell up and there aren't too many blogs that I find legitimately, consistently hilarious in a way that comes across as completely genuine and natural. Seriously. This is the case even when it's not a "funny" post. (Also she is a baddass of a runner.)

Today (or at least sometime recently) she wrote a post called "Two Things I Don't Get," and as I read it I found myself nodding in enthusiastic agreement and having that "OH THANK GOD IT'S NOT JUST ME" moment of relief you have when you really just can't believe it's just you, but no one else is saying anything, and you don't want to say anything either because you don't want to sound like an asshole. According to my calculations, though, even if people think that Shelby is an asshole for writing it out loud and I am an asshole for agreeing with her out loud, then the total asshole-perception is divided equally between the two of us, so people will think that each of us is only half as much of an asshole as they would have thought we were otherwise. And that is better.

(Update - About a billion people have now left comments on Shelby's post being like OMG ME TOO THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS, so the way I figure, each of our total perceived assholery is given by the equation A_p = (A_t/n) where A_p = how much the blogosphere perceives any one person to be an asshole for saying these things out loud, A_t = how much the blogosphere would think ONE person was an asshole for saying them, and n is the total number of people who say or agree with them. Fields Medal, please.)

Get it? It's a dust buster, which sucks? The amount of effort I put into finding this image is about equivalent to how pleasant my runs have been lately.

2) The title of my original whiney/bitchy post was going to be "This Week Sucks." (Subtle, no?) But then I remembered that as a denizen of the run-blogging world, I should take special care never to be too negative lest I discourage and depress others. Yet I also hear that I should be careful never to get TOO sunshine-and-unicorns about my running when it is going well, because that is apparently equally off-putting and not gritty and "real" enough, and people have totally stopped reading blogs over it. Obviously I work *extremely* hard to ensure that my blog has precisely the right balance of peppy, enthusiastic posts to gritty, "real" ones, and I feared that one entitled "This Week Sucks" may have been a bridge too far in one direction.

But for reals, y'all, this week sucks. I haven't had a good run since my track workout Tuesday a week & a half ago. Ever since then I've been completely exhausted, super low on stamina (ie, the last couple miles of a six mile easy run feels like the last miles of a marathon), or dealing with some kind of physical pain significant enough to harsh my mellow. And that's when I've been able to run at all.

Part of this I'm sure was jumping from ~20 mpw to nearly 40 in one week. Part of it has probably been not sleeping enough. Part of it is also probably that I keep forgetting that Sparring Night at the dojo (ie, advanced practitioners from a variety of martial disciplines show up & fight for two hours) is more or less equivalent to a hard 10K in terms of the physical wear & tear on my body. I'm pretty sure I've lost about 20 potential miles to that alone. On the other hand, my sparring is not great and I have a freaking black belt test somewhere in the not-too-dim-&-misty future, so you know. Trade-offs.

But still. I've been bummed that I can't run as much/well as I've wanted too lately & that takes its toll on my mood.

3.Once upon a time there was a run-blogger who was like, "What's up with all the BLACK running tights? Is this is a freaking FUNERAL? An East Coast social event? Why is that the ONLY color of running tights that anyone ever wears?" Then she got super bold & ordered a pair of slate gray running tights & thought they were SUPER cool.

Then she went for a run in them & finally understood why people pretty much only ever wear black running tights.

I took a picture. Then I chickened out & decided I don't have the guts to post said picture on the internet. (See opening line above.) So I deleted it. Let's just say that there is a sweating issue that happens and there is a certain pattern to it and it is not pretty in a color where you can actually see it.

It kind of reminded me of that time that group of dude cyclists went with the red shorts. Not because of all the genitals, but more because it reminded me to appreciate the general forgivingness / camouflage properties of black when it comes to spandex.

I'm sorry. Or you're welcome. Or y'know. Whatever.