Worth Repeating: Running & Self-Defense

Given the three recent murders of young women out running alone, there is a lot of talk happening & a lot of ink being spilt currently re: women, running, and safety. (For the record, it seems that so far police do not believe that the three murders are related.) As someone with a black belt in karate who has been doing and teaching martial arts for nearly 15 years now and also runs around a major city alone a good bit, I've gotten plenty of questions over the years about these topics, so back in 2014, I decided to write a post about it. This seems like an appropriate time to re-post some of that; hopefully some folks will find it useful.

(Original post here)

Day or night, crowds or solitude, highway shoulders or urban sidewalks or forest trails, there are always potential hazards to look out for, and paying close attention to our surroundings isn't something we can ever let slip. In the wake of these tragic events, I've seen many of my friends and fellow bloggers posting or musing about their own safety habits (or lack thereof) and steps they are thinking of taking to be safer when out running alone.

One that has come up fairly frequently is the idea of attending self-defense classes. This is one of the things I've been asked my opinion on a lot, usually by other women, and my thoughts on the topic are mixed. It worries me when I see or hear people talking about self-defense like it's something you can learn from watching a video or attending a day-long workshop: people see how easy and simple it looks & maybe try it a few times with a friendly, cooperative partner, and it gives them a false sense of security, which in some cases can even lead to people taking additional risks because they feel overconfident.

The fact of the matter is that being able to use self-defense techniques like breaking someone's grab or escaping a choke hold effectively when someone is actually trying to hurt you requires A LOT of practice. There are couple of reasons for this.

For one, it's a skill, and you have to learn to do it properly. It took me several years to feel very confident in my ability to break grabs & escape holds & what have you immediately, without thinking or pausing to go, "Okay, I put my hand here, and grab you here...Wait, how does this go?" Just like someone who's never played piano can't learn to play a complicated piece by watching a YouTube video or having someone show them a few times, you can't learn self-defense that way either. (And in the heat of the moment when you're afraid for your life, what are the odds that you'll be able to call all those details to mind anyway?)

For another, you have to do it often enough to undo all the conditioning that civilized humans (especially women) have that tells us we shouldn't be aggressive & violent towards other people. Yes, some of the time we have a fight-or-flight thing that kicks in when we really need it, but you might be surprised how often people freeze up in the face of violence and can't bring themselves to get aggressive with their attackers. (I hate to say it, but this is often especially true for women. See Harriet J.'s amazing post on why, if we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave, we should not be surprised when they behave in those ways.)

If you have it in your head that these self-defense moves are something you might need to do one day, get a partner & practice, practice, practice, until you can do it immediately & accurately, every time, without a second thought.

I am not saying that self-defense classes are worthless. I haven't attended every self-defense class on earth and perhaps some of them are indeed better than nothing. But if you feel like this is a real threat you need to deal with and are serious about doing something useful about it, I would recommend a series of ongoing classes, ideally weekly, for *at least* a few months. (For comparison: I do not think I was even remotely halfway competent in self defense until maybe 2-3 years into practicing karate 3-5 hours a week. And that's only cases where the attacker is unarmed.)

Don't get me wrong; backed into a corner, I'm not saying don't do whatever you have to to defend yourself. I'm just saying, don't count on something to save you in a stressful, chaotic situation that you haven't practiced a thousand times with full speed & power & can do on auto-pilot.

So if you haven't practiced a bunch of self-defense moves ten thousand times, what can you do? So many things!! Here is some straight-talk about combat & self-defense from someone who's been doing it for 15 years. I give you...

The Top 5 Self-Defense Moves For Runners
(and, actually, anyone, including martial artists):

MOVE #1: Stay out of situations where you might need to defend yourself. I can't say this enough times. The best way to get out of a dangerous situation is to do whatever you can not to get into it in the first place. Sometimes people have made remarks about how it must be really nice not to have to worry about walking down dangerous streets or being out alone at night or someone deciding to mess with me because "you know how to defend yourself." Wrong. If anything, my martial arts training has made me that much aware of how dangerous those situations can be and how much and how quickly things can go horribly wrong any time you have to resort to defending yourself with physical force. It's not a trump card; it's an absolute last resort, with dubious odds at that. All martial arts training does is give you a fighting chance, maybe, depending on the situation.

The best self-defense move out there is avoiding risky situations. If you must run in the dark, pick your route carefully & try to go with a buddy or stay where there are plenty of people. If you must run where there are no people, stick to daylight and stay in areas where you have good lines of sight (as opposed to lots of good places for potential attackers to hide). If you must run with headphones, keep the volume turned down so that you can hear footsteps and voices of those around you (or go with one headphone only). If you're already doing something slightly risky like running alone in the dark or somewhere unfamiliar or in an area where there aren't other people around, leave the headphones at home. And for the love of god, don't real-time social media to the whole world exactly where you are.

MOVE #2: Pay attention to your surroundings. This is a habit I developed through karate without even realizing it. When I walk into a store or parking lot or bar or BART station or whatever, I find myself pausing for a moment to take in the whole scene. Who is standing where? Where is their attention directed? Anything seem weird or out of place? Eventually that habit worked itself into running as well. Any time I feel like I'm already taking chances with Move #1, this spidey sense goes into overdrive.

I think it's hard for a lot of us to really pay close attention to our surrounding when we're out running because it's so easy to get caught up either in your thoughts or in paying attention to your body. It's easy to just put one foot in front of the other without much thought for what's going on around us. But try to develop that habit if you can. Try to look at people while you run. Try to listen to their voices and the other sounds they're making. Pay attention to where and how people are standing/walking and where their attention is.

This move is a double-edged sword, because not only are you more likely to notice something/someone out of place and/or dangerous, but it also gives you an aura of being alert & with it & generally having your shit together. The fact that predators choose their victims based on posture, body language, & other behaviors that indicate a person is timid/passive/not paying attention to their surroundings is extremely well-documented; being alert & with it is like wearing a sign that says, "Not the easiest target, maybe choose someone else."

(Incidentally, this habit has a lot of other side benefits as well. It lets me avoid running into people who are walking right at me who I can just tell by their demeanor are not really "seeing" me and not going to move. It's helped me avoid getting hit and/or backed over by cars. It's helped me dodge more dogs/children/drunk people/construction areas than I could possibly ever remember.)

MOVE #3: Listen to your gut. Getting a weird feeling? Hairs on the back of your neck standing up? Find yourself saying over and over again, "I'm sure it's nothing"? Do whatever you need to to get rid of that feeling--stop & look behind you, go back the way you came, take a different road, duck into a storefront, whatever. The good news about weird gut feelings is that whatever it is you're subconsciously worried about hasn't happened yet, so you still have time to avoid it.

And you know what? Most of the time, maybe even 99.9% of the time, that weird feeling really will be nothing. But people are good at getting weird feelings when something isn't right, and your safety isn't worth gambling with on the off chance that it isn't. Do whatever you need to to feel safe in the moment. Anyone who tries to make you feel silly or dumb about it is not your friend.

MOVE #4: Run away, preferably towards people. If someone really looks/sounds/seems legitimately threatening, put as much distance between them and you as possible as quickly as possible. (This is the great thing about being a runner--odds are good you can outrun anyone giving you the heeby jeebies!) Even though these types of situations are pretty rare, most of the time the person acting threatening isn't all that focused on you in particular or willing to put much effort into continuing to harass you. Most casual threatening behavior is opportunistic, so if you can gun it a bit for a few blocks/tens of yards & get some distance between you, that may take care of things.

If someone does seem pretty focused on you personally and committed to getting at you, run as fast as you possibly can to the closest safe place (again, preferably where there are people). Even someone with truly bad intentions isn't likely to follow you into a group or a well-peopled building. (This is the main reason why running alone, out of sprinting distance of other people, really skeeves me out.)

(Related -- Don't engage with someone who seems threatening, even if they're talking to you. Again, most of the time this stuff is opportunistic, and it's been shown over and over and over again--see Chapter 8 of Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear--that by ignoring it and not giving the person the satisfaction of responding, they're less likely to get invested in bothering you. Any attention you give someone in this kind of situation is rewarding the behavior and only likely to escalate it.)

MOVE #5: Make as much noise as possible. A great one to use in conjunction with Move #4. Like I mentioned above, you would be shocked to learn how many assaults take place within earshot of other people where the victim stays disturbingly quiet. (Again, see Harriet's post for the some of the reasons why.) Remember that most assaults are opportunistic, not personal, and most predators are looking for as un-challenging a mark as they can find and the absolute LAST thing they want is to draw attention to themselves. So if someone is acting threatening & you really want them to GTFA from you, scream your little head off & draw as much attention as possible.

Cool. But what are some physical things I can do if someone grabs/corners me that don't take hours and hours of practice?

There are some! Obviously any amount of practice/drill you do with another person is going to make you that much more confident should you ever need to defend yourself with physical force, but the moves below are pretty basic & forgiving in terms of practice or getting them *exactly* right.

• Kick the shins. HARD. You know how much that hurts! No, this will not put someone on the ground, but it may distract them long enough for you to be able to pull away & run. Always cause a pain distraction before you try to pull away, especially from someone bigger & stronger than you. It's surprisingly effective! Truly, there is never a bad time for a shin kick.

• Go for the nose! We have a saying in our dojo: No one has a strong nose. It takes remarkably little force to create a LOT of pain & a veritable FOUNTAIN of blood. (I know! I've bloodied noses! I've bloodied my *own* nose!) Noses are really, really easy to break and quite painful (again--I can attest to this personally!), and even if you don't break it, you'll likely distract them long enough to get away.

• Similarly, fling your fingers at the eyes like you're flinging water off your hands. It has a surprising sting, & anything in the direction of the eyes makes an excellent distraction. I don't recommend trying to jab/claw people's eyes out, because getting involved with the body fluids of strangers is something to avoid if at all possible (though obviously, if you are feeling seriously threatened, you do whatever you have to).

• Fingernails to the face in any way you can manage. Just raking your hand tiger-claw style down someone's face is pretty darn disconcerting and can also be a great distraction. Consider pairing with a shin kick.

• Avoid punching if it is not something you have been taught to do & practiced extensively. Instead, pull your fingers back & go with the heel of the hand--just shoot it at at your attacker's face like a rubber band. BAM! It's hard enough to inflict a non-ignorable amount of pain but also padded enough that you're unlikely to hurt yourself. (Poorly executed punches have a habit of spraining/breaking fingers & wrists, and are also unlikely to do much if you haven't practiced it with something hard thousands upon thousands of times.)

• If you're grabbed bear-hug style from behind, don't try to pry their hands up. Hands are strong. If you can manage a heel kick to the shin, start with that. (Always cause a pain distraction first.) Then, instead of trying to pry the hands away, start with a pinkie & bend it back as far as you can. As with noses, no one has a strong pinky. This is kind of magical in how effective it can be, but be prepared to follow it up right away with a shin kick, whack to the nose, etc.

  

• Another possibility if you're grabbed from behind is to heel kick the shin (always cause a pain distraction first), then throw an elbow back into your attacker's ribs/sternum. How possible/effective this is really depends on how you're being grabbed/held, and sometimes it won't really work, but if you can manage it, it can be startlingly effective. Elbows are SHARP and make excellent weapons!

• YELL. It seems hokey but I am not joking about this. If you have to defend yourself against someone who is trying to hurt you, scream in their face every time you strike or hit them. It seriously freaks people out & can sometimes even cause enough of a distraction to give you a chance to escape. Also, see Move #5 above.

• ***Don't count on the crotch shot.*** I have lost track of the number of women who believe they are invincible to men because "I'll just kick/knee him in the balls." Maybe you will, and maybe it will work, but more likely you will miss, or won't be able to manage enough force, or he'll move/block you, or you'll make contact & cause some pain but rather than disabling him, it will only serve to make him angry & more violent as adrenaline tends to blunt pain but not emotion. In a chaotic, fast-moving situation, the targeting is trickier than you think, and dudes are really good at protecting the crotch region. Again, I'm not saying don't try it, but know that it is FAR from a trump card & have some other moves in mind to follow up with.

Last but not least, if you ever do find yourself needing to use physical force, remember that the goal is not to incapacitate the person--the goal is to run away. At the first opportunity. As quickly as possible. Do NOT hang out & try to start a boxing match.

Some Final Remarks

Again, I am not categorically against self-defense classes. I am not against learning & practicing self-defense moves (obviously). BUT, I am VERY much against giving people an unrealistic view of what they can depend on when it comes to protecting themselves, and I am very VERY *VERY* against presenting self-defense "moves"/physical force as if they should ever be the first line of defense. Fighting is chaos. There's no predicting how things will go. You never know when someone has a weapon. You never know when someone's buddies may be backing them up. You never know when someone may suddenly grab a broken bottle. In those situations, the odds of a favorable outcome for even the most highly trained martial artist plummet pretty quickly. (Seriously. The more self-defense I learn and practice, the more terrified of weapons I become, which is a good thing because it means my brain is operating more and more in reality where the odds of an unarmed person successfully fighting off someone with a weapon are just about zero.)

Backed into a corner, truly afraid for my life? No question; I will do everything in my power to lay you out, inflict permanent injuries, & not even think twice about it.

But lemme tell you; first & foremost, I'm going to fight 90% of that battle by doing everything I possibly can to not to be in it in the first place.

Be safe out there, folks!!!

Self-Defense Moves For Runners

Recently Runner's World published a video titled "How to Stay Safe on the Run", a topic we can ALL relate to, no matter where or when we do our running. Day or night, crowds or solitude, highway shoulders or urban sidewalks or forest trails, there are always potential hazards to look out for, and paying close attention to our surroundings isn't something we can ever let slip.

The Runner's World video addresses a particular type of hazard: another person who is potentially trying to harm you. In it, a police officer goes through several types of attacks (attacker grabs your arm, bear hugs you from behind, or comes at you directly). Speaking as a martial artist, I can confirm that all of the techniques the officer explains in the video are legitimate and likely to work, provided a) they are executed with skill & gusto & b) the attacker is not all that invested in hurting you.

But those are some pretty big "if's." And that is what worries me when I see or hear people talking about self-defense like it's something you can learn from watching a video or attending a day-long workshop: people see how easy and simple it looks & maybe try it a few times with a friendly, cooperative partner, and it gives them a false sense of security, which in some cases can even lead to people taking addition risks because they feel overconfident. The fact of the matter is that being able to use self-defense techniques like breaking someone's grab or escaping a choke hold effectively when someone is actually trying to hurt you requires A LOT of practice. There are couple of reasons for this.

For one, it's a skill, and you have to learn to do it properly. It took me several years to feel very confident in my ability to break grabs & escape holds & what have you immediately, without thinking or pausing to go, "Okay, I put my hand here, and grab you here...Wait, how does this go?" Just like you can't learn to play a complicated piano piece by watching a YouTube video, you can't learn self-defense that way either. (And in the heat of the moment when you're afraid for your life, what are the odds that you'll be able to call it to mind anyway?)

For another, you have to do it often enough to undo all the conditioning that civilized humans (especially women) have that tells us we shouldn't be aggressive & violent towards other people. Yes, some of the time we have a fight-or-flight thing that kicks in when we really need it, but you might be surprised how often people freeze up in the face of violence and can't bring themselves to get aggressive with their attackers. (I hate to say it, but this is often especially true for women. See Harriet J.'s amazing post on why, if we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave, we should not be surprised when they behave in those ways.) If you have it in your head that these self-defense moves are something you might need to do one day, get a partner & practice, practice, practice, until you can do it immediately & accurately, every time, without a second thought.

Don't get me wrong; backed into a corner, I'm not saying don't do whatever you have to to defend yourself. I'm just saying, don't count on something to save you in a stressful, chaotic situation that you haven't practiced a thousand times with full speed & power & can do on auto-pilot.

So if you haven't practiced that bear hug break a thousand times, what can you do? So many things!! Here is some straight-talk about combat & self-defense from someone who's been doing it for 12 years. I give you...

The Top 5 Self-Defense Moves For Runners
(and, actually, anyone, including martial artists):

MOVE #1: Stay out of situations where you might need to defend yourself. I can't say this enough times. The best way to get out of a dangerous situation is to do whatever you can not to get into it in the first place. Sometimes people have made remarks about how it must be really nice not to have to worry about walking down dangerous streets or being out alone at night or someone deciding to mess with me because "you know how to defend yourself." Wrong. If anything, my martial arts training has made me that much aware of how dangerous those situations can be and how much and how quickly things can go horribly wrong any time you have to resort to defending yourself with physical force. It's not a trump card; it's an absolute last resort, with dubious odds at that. All martial arts training does is give you a fighting chance, maybe, depending on the situation.

The best self-defense move out there is avoiding risky situations. If you must run in the dark, pick your route carefully & try to go with a buddy or stay where there are plenty of people. If you must run where there are no people, stick to daylight and stay in areas where you have good lines of sight (as opposed to lots of good places for potential attackers to hide). If you must run with headphones, keep the volume turned down so that you can hear footsteps and voices of those around you (or go with one headphone only). If you're already doing something slightly risky like running alone in the dark or somewhere unfamiliar or in an area where there aren't other people around, leave the headphones at home.

MOVE #2: Pay attention to your surroundings. This is a habit I developed through karate without even realizing it. When I walk into a store or parking lot or bar or BART station or whatever, I find myself pausing for a moment to take in the whole scene. Who is standing where? Where is their attention directed? Anything seem weird or out of place? Eventually that habit worked itself into running as well. Any time I feel like I'm already taking chances with Move #1, this spidey sense goes into overdrive.

I think it's hard for a lot of us to really pay close attention to our surrounding when we're out running because it's so easy to get caught up either in your thoughts or in paying attention to your body. It's easy to just put one foot in front of the other without much thought for what's going on around us. But try to develop that habit if you can. Try to look at people while you run. Try to listen to their voices and the other sounds they're making. Pay attention to where and how people are standing/walking and where their attention is.

This move is a double-edged sword, because not only are you more likely to notice something/someone out of place and/or dangerous, but it also gives you an aura of being alert & with it & generally having your shit together. The fact that predators choose their victims based on posture, body language, & other behaviors that indicate a person is timid/passive/not paying attention to their surroundings is extremely well-documented; being alert & with it is like wearing a sign that says, "Not the easiest target, maybe choose someone else."

(Incidentally, this habit has a lot of other side benefits as well. It lets me avoid running into people who are walking right at me who I can just tell by their demeanor are not really "seeing" me and not going to move. It's helped me avoid getting hit and/or backed over by cars. It's helped me dodge more dogs/children/drunk people/construction areas than I could possibly ever remember.)

MOVE #3: Listen to your gut. Getting a weird feeling? Hairs on the back of your neck standing up? Find yourself saying over and over again, "I'm sure it's nothing"? Do whatever you need to to get rid of that feeling--stop & look behind you, go back the way you came, take a different road, duck into a storefront, whatever. The good news about weird gut feelings is that whatever it is you're subconsciously worried about hasn't happened yet, so you still have time to avoid it.

And you know what? Most of the time, maybe even 99.9% of the time, that weird feeling really will be nothing. But people are good at getting weird feelings when something isn't right, and your safety isn't worth gambling with on the off chance that it isn't. Do whatever you need to to feel safe in the moment. Anyone who tries to make you feel silly or dumb about it is not your friend.

MOVE #4: Run away, preferably towards people. If someone really looks/sounds/seems legitimately threatening, put as much distance between them and you as possible as quickly as possible. (This is the great thing about being a runner--odds are good you can outrun anyone giving you the heeby jeebies!) Even though these types of situations are pretty rare, most of the time the person acting threatening isn't all that focused on you in particular or willing to put much effort into continuing to harass you. Most casual threatening behavior is opportunistic, so if you can gun it a bit for a few blocks/tens of yards & get some distance between you, that may take care of things.

If someone does seem pretty focused on you personally and committed to getting at you, run as fast as you possibly can to the closest safe place (again, preferably where there are people). Even someone with truly bad intentions isn't likely to follow you into a group or a well-peopled building. (This is the main reason why running alone, out of sprinting distance of other people, really skeeves me out.)

(Related -- Don't engage with someone who seems threatening, even if they're talking to you. Again, most of the time this stuff is opportunistic, and it's been shown over and over and over again--see Chapter 8 of Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear--that by ignoring it and not giving the person the satisfaction of responding, they're less likely to get invested in bothering you. Any attention you give someone in this kind of situation is rewarding the behavior and only likely to escalate it.)

MOVE #5: Make as much noise as possible. A great one to use in conjunction with Move #4. Like I mentioned above, you would be shocked to learn how many assaults take place within earshot of other people where the victim stays disturbingly quiet. (Again, see Harriet's post for the some of the reasons why.) Remember that most assaults are opportunistic, not personal, and most predators are looking for as un-challenging a mark as they can find and the absolute LAST thing they want is to draw attention to themselves. So if someone is acting threatening & you really want them to GTFA from you, scream your little head off & draw as much attention as possible.

Cool. But what are some physical things I can do if someone grabs/corners me that don't take hours and hours of practice?

There are some! Obviously any amount of practice/drill you do with another person is going to make you that much more confident should you ever need to defend yourself with physical force, but the moves below are pretty basic & forgiving in terms of practice or getting them *exactly* right.

• Kick the shins. HARD. You know how much that hurts! No, this will not put someone on the ground, but it may distract them long enough for you to be able to pull away & run. Always cause a pain distraction before you try to pull away, especially from someone bigger & stronger than you. It's surprisingly effective! Truly, there is never a bad time for a shin kick.

• Go for the nose! We have a saying in our dojo: No one has a strong nose. It takes remarkably little force to create a LOT of pain & a veritable FOUNTAIN of blood. (I know! I've bloodied noses! I've bloodied my *own* nose!) Noses are really, really easy to break and quite painful (again--I can attest to this personally!), and even if you don't break it, you'll likely distract them long enough to get away.

• Similarly, fling your fingers at the eyes like you're flinging water off your hands. It has a surprising sting, & anything in the direction of the eyes makes an excellent distraction. I don't recommend trying to jab/claw people's eyes out, because getting involved with the body fluids of strangers is something to avoid if at all possible (though obviously, if you are feeling seriously threatened, you do whatever you have to).

• Fingernails to the face in any way you can manage. Just raking your hand tiger-claw style down someone's face is pretty darn disconcerting and can also be a great distraction. Consider pairing with a shin kick.

• Avoid punching if it is not something you have been taught to do & practiced extensively. Instead, pull your fingers back & go with the heel of the hand--just shoot it at at your attacker's face like a rubber band. BAM! It's hard enough to inflict a non-ignorable amount of pain but also padded enough that you're unlikely to hurt yourself. (Poorly executed punches have a habit of spraining/breaking fingers & wrists, and are also unlikely to do much if you haven't practiced it with something hard thousands upon thousands of times.)

• If you're grabbed bear-hug style from behind, don't try to pry their hands up. Hands are strong. If you can manage a heel kick to the shin, start with that. (Always cause a pain distraction first.) Then, instead of trying to pry the hands away, start with a pinkie & bend it back as far as you can. As with noses, no one has a strong pinky. This is kind of magical in how effective it can be, but be prepared to follow it up right away with a shin kick, whack to the nose, etc.

• Another possibility if you're grabbed from behind is to heel kick the shin (always cause a pain distraction first), then throw an elbow back into your attacker's ribs/sternum. How possible/effective this is really depends on how you're being grabbed/held, and sometimes it won't really work, but if you can manage it, it can be startlingly effective. Elbows are SHARP and make excellent weapons!

• YELL. It seems hokey but I am not joking about this. If you have to defend yourself against someone who is trying to hurt you, scream in their face every time you strike or hit them. It seriously freaks people out & can sometimes even cause enough of a distraction to give you a chance to escape. Also, see Move #5 above.

• ***Don't count on the crotch shot.*** I have lost track of the number of women who believe they are invincible to men because "I'll just kick/knee him in the balls." Maybe you will, and maybe it will work, but more likely you will miss, or won't be able to manage enough force, or he'll move/block you, or you'll make contact & cause some pain but rather than disabling him, it will only serve to make him angry & more violent as adrenaline tends to blunt pain but not emotion. In a chaotic, fast-moving situation, the targeting is trickier than you think, and dudes are really good at protecting the crotch region. Again, I'm not saying don't try it, but know that it is FAR from a trump card & have some other moves in mind to follow up with.

Last but not least, if you ever do find yourself needing to use physical force, remember that the goal is not to incapacitate the person--the goal is to run away. At the first opportunity. As quickly as possible. Do NOT hang out & try to start a boxing match.

Some Final Remarks

First, I want to make it super clear that I'm not suggesting most people are likely to be attacked/assaulted. In general, as far as my understanding of the statistics goes, the odds are very low, especially if you are on top of Move #1 up there. On the other hand, the stakes are staggeringly high, so it's still incredibly important to take your own safety seriously & do whatever you can to minimize your chances of becoming a victim, and to have given *some* amount of thought to what you might do should you get a creepy feeling or find yourself the focus of unwanted attention/unpleasantness.

I am not against self-defense classes (eh...mostly). I am not against learning & practicing self-defense moves (obviously). BUT, I am VERY much against giving people an unrealistic view of what they can depend on when it comes to protecting themselves, and I am very VERY *VERY* against presenting self-defense "moves"/physical force as if they should ever be the first line of defense. Fighting is chaos. There's no predicting how things will go. You never know when someone has a weapon. You never know when someone's buddies may be backing them up. You never know when someone may suddenly grab a broken bottle. In those situations, the odds of a favorable outcome for even the most highly trained martial artist plummet pretty quickly. (Seriously. The more I self-defense I learn and practice, the more terrified of weapons I become, which is a good thing because it means my brain is operating more and more in reality where the odds of an unarmed person successfully fighting off someone with a weapon are just about zero.)

Backed into a corner, truly afraid for my life? No question; I will do everything in my power to lay you out, inflict permanent injuries, & not even think twice about it.

But lemme tell you; first & foremost, I'm going to fight 90% of that battle by doing everything I possibly can to not to be in it in the first place.

Mistakes May Have Been Made.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

See, here's the problem with setting a hard core mileage goal & then having your run foiled twice in two days. It makes you reckless. You get all GOD-DAMN-IT-I-am-getting-a-GOD-DAMN-RUN-IN-if-I-have-to-FREAKING-MURDER-SOMEBODY. You make poor decisions and justify them at the time by telling yourself that you are being hard core and boss-like.

After having feet too achey to run on Sunday & then not having a spare second on Monday except to pee, I spent Tuesday morning looking down the barrel of my week and feeling a little disheartened by how hard I was going to have to work to fit my runs in. So when I got home that evening, I immediately threw on running clothes. I wanted to run 10 miles, totally felt like running 10 miles, & was fully prepared to just get it done & make a big fat deposit into the First National Bank of Mileage.

In retrospect, I blame the Garmin. That bitch looked for satellites for nigh on fifteen minutes. I restarted it four times, and every time, the little bar rapidly filled to 99.9% & froze. At the height of my frustration, just as I was about to say screw it & go without, it *finally* locked in & I headed off. Only a few seconds later, I realized I'd forgotten to take my inhaler before I left. Ordinarily I would have gone back, but I was too irritated, and hell if I was going to wait for the damn watch to pick up satellites again.

Less than half a mile later, I knew I'd made a mistake. In retrospect, the most logical course of action would have been to jog back, take my inhaler, then do a 4.5 out-and-back. But noooOOOOOooo. I was all, "I'm hard core. I don't let dumb little things like oxygen deprivation get in my way. I've lost track of the number of runs I've finished with asthma. I ran a freaking MARATHON with an asthma attack. Going back for asthma medicine is for pussies."

But it kept getting worse.

Mile 1: "You know, there's really nothing wrong with 8 miles. 8 miles is still good."

Mile 1.5: "Or 7. 7 is completely respectable."

Mile 1.75: "Okay, this is actually kind of bad...Maybe we should just turn around at 2? That would be the smart thing to do."

Mile 2: "Ehh, what's one more mile? Then we'll turn around. We can make it through 6; NBD."

Now, here is the thing about running a lot, and pushing your body really hard, and getting mentally good at ignoring physical suffering. That is all fine and good when it's just your body being like "Ughhhhh, this is HAAAAARD...." But it turns out that this is a double-edged sword that actually works on serious physiological problems that you should probably be paying attention to. Not being able to breathe, for example. I just kept running & being all, "Hey, no big deal. We've done this before. Just slow down a little. It'll be over before you know it."

During that third mile, I repeatedly found myself thinking things like, "WOW, this is hard. Ugh. This feels TERRIBLE," and "I would really, really, REALLY like to stop running now." The problem is that I've had those thoughts so, so, *SO* uncountably many times while running that they don't really mean anything anymore. When normal people have thoughts like these, they stop what they're doing. Athletes used to enduring reasonably significant suffering on a regular basis, not so much.

It was as I approached the turnaround at the end of the Panhandle that it started to get really bad. I found myself feeling lightheaded, which has never happened before when running with asthma. I started having waves of nausea and feeling like I was about to throw up. I'd be like, "Okay, when you get to that stop light, you can walk." But then the light would turn red, and I would get a few seconds to rest, & then I'd be like, "Nevermind, I'm all good now." Even though at that point I was very, very far from good. The lightheadedness got worse. The nausea got worse. My legs felt wobbly & I couldn't control my foot strikes, so that the impact of every elephantine step made everything that much worse.

Not long after that, I finally reached the point where the magnitude of my suffering outweighed my mental ability to lie to myself about it. That was the point where

• If I'd been on a treadmill, I would have stopped.
• If I'd been less than a mile from home, I would have walked the rest of the way.
• If I'd had my phone, I would have called Don to come get me.

But I wasn't, and I didn't, and frankly being without my inhaler for the amount of time it would take me to walk 2.5 miles home seemed scarier than trying to keep running. So the rest of the trip home became a delicate balancing act wherein I would walk a couple of minutes until I felt like I wasn't about to die, jog until I was legitimately afraid I might pass out and/or puke, wash/rinse/repeat. This was also when I first noticed that I was having trouble swallowing.

By the time I was a mile from home, I was truly worried about not making it & started considering going into a cafe or coffee shop & asking to borrow their phone. Ultimately I pressed on & finished with 5.7 miles of actual running. Which, for what is definitely in the running for the honor of Worst Run Ever-Ever-Ever in 20 years of running, is not too shabby. I stumbled inside, fumbled with my inhaler, satisfied myself that I could in fact move air in & out of my lungs again, & grabbed my shower towel. My hands were shaking, my stomach was cramping up, and I was still having trouble swallowing. This concerned me a bit, being not typically symptoms of asthma.

After I turned on the water, I noticed that my bottom lip felt kind of swollen, like I'd bitten it really hard. Once in the shower, my thought processes went more or less like this:

"Wow, my legs are really itchy. And my shoulders too."

"Um. My lip is really swollen. Also my top lip feels kind of funny."

"Whoah, there, heart rate! Take it down a notch."

"My face feels like a balloon."

"I can't feel my tongue."

So you can imagine what all this did for the feeling of relief I'd gotten once I could breathe again. Once out of the shower, I confirmed that, yes, my face was definitely swollen. I still couldn't swallow well, my heart was still racing, and I was having trouble catching my breath (which is not the same thing as asthma). Also, this is about when every square inch of skin on my body started to feel as if I'd fallen into a bed of stinging nettle. (I know how this feels because I actually did it once.)

At this point I was having trouble staying vertical. Don got home from work right about the time I got out of the shower; our conversation basically went like this.

Don: "Hello!"

Me, kind of frantic & basically in tears: "Something is really wrong with me."

Don: "Um, yes, but which thing were you thinking of?"

Me: "No, really. Something is really, really wrong. My face is all swollen and everything itches and my heart is going really fast and I can't swallow--"

Don: "Um--"

Me: "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!?"

Don: "Um. Why don't you put real clothes on."

So I did. In the process I discovered that most of my body was covered in tiny red whelps.

This did not improve my affect. If you are familiar with my general terror of all things health problem related, you can probably understand why.

For a while I sat curled up on the couch, had a massive little freak out, tried not to scratch my skin off, and frantically debated the pros and cons of possibly doing something medically responsible like going to the emergency room or at least calling my doctor.

Me, utterly terrified: "Am I going to die?"

Don: "Pretty sure no, but all the same, maybe you just stay there on the couch."

Me, weeping softly about the possibility of my life being epically, tragically cut short: "Okay..."

Poor Don, I thought. You can't bring yourself to accept the fact that your girlfriend is about to epically, tragically die. Now you'll be all alone in the world.

In the words of Miss Ally Brosh:

Long story short, we reasoned that I was clearly having some kind of allergic reaction. To what was kind of a mystery. I have no known allergies, I hadn't eaten anything weird, been bitten or stung by anything, or really been in any kind of contact with anything even remotely unusual. Being the more sane and rational one at that particular moment, Don fed me Benedryl, decided I did not in fact seem as if my life were in danger, went to work in the garden, and instructed me to come get him if things got any worse (ie, it seemed like I might really, actually die).

And you know what you do when you have a health issue and are left alone on the couch in arm's reach of the internet.

I learned that I was either dying of cancer, about to go into anaphylactic shock, or suffering from MSG poisoning.

Or, I was having this:

Pretty freaky, no?

As expected, all the symptoms went away within a couple of hours and I've since felt normal. I am 99% sure that I don't have one of the chronic cases they're talking about, as this is the first time I've ever happened to me. Yes, I've run through pain and suffering and even asthma, but this was really the worst I can ever remember it being. This was the first time that I pushed it that far, that I really got to a place during the run where I was actually concerned about my health. I'm guessing that the physical stress combined with the additional stress of worrying about it was enough to set off the weird parasympathetic histamine reaction, and then taking a hot shower made it worse.

Still. I'm just warning you that if I turn out to be one of those chronic people, I am going to be all kinds of royally pissed off as I *really* don't need another obstacle to make running difficult for me.

I mean, can you imagine? Being allergic to running?

I gotta tell ya; if it comes to that, I may just throw in the towel. That is a Sign from the Gods if ever I heard of one.

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen

(Do you remember that song, btw? I do because I actually was Class of '99. Was it not so embarrassingly fake-deep and horrible that you shuddered and had to change the station every time it came on? I'm pretty sure the only good thing that came of it was Chris Rock's parody "No Sex in the Champagne Room.")

So Runner's World posted this article recently that had to do with wearing sunscreen when you run outdoors. In the article, it said that a 2005 study reported that 85% of outdoor athletes didn't use sunscreen at all.

WHAT??? Seriously??

This was as flat-out unbelievable to me as when I heard that the average American wedding cost $28,000. (Then I talked to a bunch of my recently wedded friends who all shrugged & were like, "Sounds about right." I guess we're having cocktail weenies for dinner at my wedding.)

I mean yes, I know that there will always be people who for whatever reason refuse to take basic health/safety precautions no matter how quick and easy they are (ie seat belts, bike helmets, etc.). But I really expected this number to be more in the 15-20% range. 85%, not just of average people, but outdoor athletes, don't use sunscreen at all?

The mind boggles. Or mine does at least.

So this is my mama hen sunscreen post, on the off chance that any of the seven people who read my blog are among that 85%.

Now, you may be asking, "What makes YOU such a smarty-smarterson about sunscreen?" A fair question. Nothing super-formal, I'll admit; the majority my knowledge of all things sunscreen / skin damage comes from a few sources:

• Truly ludicrous levels of paranoia. I do this about most things health-related. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I think about all the different types of cancer in the world and I feel sure that statistically one of them must be eating me from the inside out & I won't know about it until it's too late. Skin cancer, on the other hand, seems like something I can actually do something about and mostly prevent with enough vigilance. So I've done a lot of anxiety-driven research on my own
• I have some nasty skin allergies, which has resulted in learning a lot about skin care in general from doctors / allergists / the internet. Some of that is relevant to sunscreen use.
• Don has a chemist friend from school who started his own organic skin care business some years ago, and he has educated us both substantially, particularly around sunscreen & skin damage. We use a lot of his products, which are especially good for me given my super sensitive skin. Also they are apparently in Whole Foods now, which is exciting!

Running & Sunscreen

(You can probably skip this part if it is painfully obvious to you why you should slather yourself in sunscreen before running outdoors.)

There are nearly 1,000,000 new cases of skin cancer and 60,000 new cases of melanoma diagnosed each year. Statistically, probably a lot of those people spend more time outdoors than average. But plenty of them, like most people, are folks who get the bulk of their sun exposure casually, while out running errands, driving, etc. Contrary to what a lot of people think, you don't have to be a sun worshiper to develop skin cancer. The cumulative effects of normal exposure over time are absolutely linked to melanoma and other forms of the disease. Even people who spend most of their time indoors can be at risk if they don't wear sunscreen regularly when they are out.

As runners, most of us spend many additional hours out in the sun every week, putting us at an elevated risk. (Those of us running between 10am - 4pm have it the worst.) Deena Kastor once wrote on her blog that in six years of dermatologist visits, she had only walked out of the office once without having some form of cancer biopsied or removed. (Deena has extra-fair skin & so has been in the habit of getting regular skin cancer screenings.) Sweating makes us even more susceptible to UV rays. An Australian study also found marathoners to be at higher risk for "atypical moles, age spots, and other lesions that increase the risk of developing skin cancer."

Choosing a Sunscreen

Come down to it, sunscreen is a little like birth control -- whatever you're most likely to use consistently is the best, and something is better than nothing. That said, they're not all created equal. When you shop for sunscreen, look for...

Broad spectrum. UV rays come in two flavors, UVA & UVB. Look for one that protects against both. UVB causes sunburn; UVA causes premature wrinkles / aging. Both play a role in the development of skin cancer. These days more and more screens are broad spectrum, but it's still smart to double check before you buy.

SPF 20-30. SPF or Sun Protection Factor is a measure of the amount of UV your skin absorbs. For example, wearing SPF 15 means that your skin will absorb 1/15th (or 6.7%) of what it would absorb without any sunscreen at all, so 93.3% of UV rays are blocked. SPF 30 means your skin absorbs 1/30th or 3.3% of what it would bare, meaning 96.7% of rays are blocked. Most dermatologists say that if you apply SPF 20-30 correctly and re-apply as necessary, you're doing just fine. Yes, SPF 50 and 60 screens are out there, but since the functional difference between blocking 96.7% of UV rays and 98% is negligible, this is usually more of a marketing gimmick than anything else. In fact, SPF factors this high can actually cause people to suffer more skin damage sometimes by giving them a false sense of extra security (so they apply less, re-apply less often, etc.).

Here is a graph from Erik's site that shows SPF vs UV rays blocked:

Look for a physical sunscreen. Sunscreens come in two types: physical and chemical. Physical sunscreens sit on the top layer of your skin and deflect or block the sun's rays. Chemical ones actually bond chemically with your skin and absorb rays. (Some chemical filters do some amount of scattering, but mostly it's just absorption/filtering.) You want the physical ones. Once physical sunscreen is on your skin, it is effective until it is removed (by washing, sweating, rubbing/toweling off, etc.). Because absorbing UV rays breaks down chemical sunscreens, they must be re-applied periodically, even if they haven't come off.

Chemical sunscreens are also more likely to irritate skin & cause allergic reactions, and (ironically) some generate free radicals which can actually cause UVA sensitivity and skin damage (PABA was one, but the jury's still out on several others that are still in use). Some (like oxybenzone) are endocrine disruptors that mimic estrogen, which can have all kinds of nasty effects. Finally, physical sunscreens are more environmentally friendly because they are basically inert, whereas some ingredients in chemical ones (cinnimate, benzophenone, parabens, and camphor derivatives, mainly) have been found to harm ocean life, particularly coral.

Determining whether a sunscreen is a physical one is quite easy, since there really are only two. Under 'active ingredients,' look for Titanium dioxide (TiO2) or Zinc oxide (ZnO). Common chemical screens include avobenzone, octinoxate, octisalate, oxybenzone, and uvinul, but if it's not TiO2 or ZnO, it's a chemical screen. Zinc oxide is preferable because it offers broad spectrum protection on its own, whereas Titanium dioxide protects mainly against UVB rays and needs to be paired with a chemical like mexoryl, helioplex, or avobenzone in order to provide UVA protection.

Green Screen (zinc oxide) with a bit of bronzer (powder) on top. Look ma, no ghostly white film!

Some people don't like to use physical sunscreens because they tend to be thick, harder to wash off, and due to the white color of the active ingredients, can give you kind of a ghostly-white pallor. (Chemical screens can be thinner, invisible, and more lotion-like.) However, physical screens with various shades of skin-colored tinting are becoming more popular. Erik's company makes a tinted one which is my go-to screen, and although on its own it can still make me look a little paler than, for example, tinted moisturizer, it looks pretty decent with a little powder or bronzer on top. (Obviously I don't bother with that when I'm just going out for a run, but at, say, a picnic or BBQ, this works great in place of actual make-up.) They also now have one made to match darker skin tones.

Avoid carcinogens, neurotoxins, & endocrine disruptors. This is less about sun protection & more about keeping nasty substances out of your body. Some of the most common ones you want to steer clear of include oxybenzone, homosalate, octinoxate, PEGs / polyethylene / polyethylene glycol, propylene glycol, retinyl palmitate, quaternium-15, triethanolamine, diazolidinyl urea, methylparaben / propylparaben, disodium EDTA, & anything with the generic ingredient 'fragrance.' Looking into why these chemicals are maybe not things you want to be smearing all over your skin is left as an exercise for the reader as that is a whole other bucket of worms.

Applying Sunscren

Did you know most people do it wrong? This is something else I learned from Erik.

Every day, year round. Yes, UVB rays (which cause burning) are strongest during the summer and in the middle of the day. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that if you're not at risk of burning, you're not accumulating UV exposure, though. UVA rays (the wrinkle/aging rays) are present all day and year-round, even on cold or cloudy days. Even 10 minutes of UVA exposure a day can cause significant damage in as little as 12 weeks. Most of us get that simply running our daily errands. Yes, it's an extra step in your morning, but it's such a small trade off to make in terms of your health & peace of mind (just ask Deena Kastor).

2 tablespoons, head to toe, & 1 teaspoon for your face. One of the main problems with sunscreen is that people generally don't use enough. If you're using SPF 30 and you spread it on too thin, you can end up only getting SPF 5-6 protection. So don't be shy! Apply liberally. You'll go through it faster, but again, it's such a small price to pay.

Be thorough. Most of us are pretty good about slathering up our faces, backs, chests, and shoulders. Don't forget commonly overlooked areas like ears, forehead, backs of hands & arms, lower legs, and lips (I have Erik's SPF lip balm, which I need to be better about remembering to use).

Apply chemical screens 15-20 minutes before exposure. Because physical screens sit on top of the skin and actually block UV rays, they are effective immediately. Chemical screens must bond with your skin before they are effective, though, so they will not offer protection until 15-20 minutes after you put them on.

Reapply, reapply, reapply. If you're doing something relatively tame, not sweating, and not touching your skin, a physical sunscreen will last you all day. The reality is, though, that we're active, we sweat, touch our faces, wipe/towel off our skin, etc. Some sunscreens are water/sweat resistant, meaning they retain their UV protection when wet, but there is no such thing as water/sweat PROOF sunscreen, and in fact as of June 2011 the FDA does not allow sunscreens sold in the US to be labeled as such. Even so, as soon as you wipe or towel off, all bets are off.

Pre-2011 sunscreens I have stopped using because of the many possible carcinogens / neurotoxins / endocrine disruptors they contain.

Reapplying at least once every two hours is recommended; when I am running and sweating a lot I probably reapply more like every half hour or so, but as I mentioned, I am super paranoid about these things. (I know this can be tricky with running -- I'm better about reapplying when I'm at the track & I can just dump my bag in the stands, but if I'm going on a longer run, I try to do loops past my house or car where I can reapply, or carry a travel-size bottle with me. Erik makes 1 oz bottles that are perfect for this. At this point he should probably be paying me for this post, don't you think? ;) )

If you're using a chemical sunscreen, reapply every 1-2 hours no matter what, because the protection will break down as it absorbs UV rays, even without wiping/toweling/etc. Also do your best to dry your skin before reapplying -- both physical & chemical screens are more effective on dry skin, but chemical screens in particular really need skin to be dry in order to bond with it.

Consider applying under clothes. Many people erroneously believe that clothing protects your skin like sunscreen. Generally it doesn't; a light-colored shirt, for example, probably offers ~SPF 5 protection. If you're going on a sunny run and you aren't wearing SPF-rated clothing (which is AWESOME, by the way!), applying underneath is a smart move. (The RW article I mentioned up top talked about a guy who used to never wear sunscreen, got skin cancer, & now religiously wears sunscreen under his clothes every day.)

A Few More Tips

Personally, I think wearing a good sunscreen regularly & applying it correctly is a HUGE step in terms of sun protection. But there are even more things you can do if you're so inclined.

Sun protective duds. I love this stuff! I will admit to not having a ton of it, but still. I love that it exists. I just did a quick google search & found this, this, and this.

Wear a hat. Exposed parts of the scalp are another oft-overlooked spot when it comes to sun damage. Wearing a hat is easier than sunscreening your part! A hat with a visor will also provide additional protection for your face.

Avoid peak UV hours. Those of us who are not professional runners don't always have a ton of flexibility about when we run, but if you're able, try to run before 10am or after 4pm in the summer when UVB rays are at their worst.

Wear sunglasses. It's not your skin, but UV rays can still damage eyes and even cause cataracts.

Alright -- I am done nagging you for the day. Go forth and run (or whatever) in health!!

I Swear I'm Not Being Paid to Write This

So a few months back this chica Christine sent me an email about a health/fitness site she was working on. She was looking for people who would try it out when it was done & give some feedback.

"For me, I think the main problem with being fit and eating healthy is motivation. It's an abstract, overwhelming goal. I think the best way to counter this is to turn it into winnable games and small victories. So... my app makes living healthy, and fitness into a RPG game, where users earn points, 'level up', and earn badges as they accomplish their health goals. Everytime they add something healthy like veggies to their diet, they earn points. Everytime they complete a workout, they earn points. As they achieve more and more, they'll level up and unlock badges, and discounts/coupons to rewards like spas, health foods, maybe even sweet and semi-healthy things like raw chocolate."

Now I will admit to you that this sounded kind of bizarre to me. It appeared to combine a thing I've never understood (RPG games) with a thing I've never been able to make functional (tracking what I eat online). But I am a (mostly) nice person so I told her that sure, if she wanted to send me a link when she was done, I'd give it a try & let her know what I thought.

Well, a couple of weeks ago I got another email from Christine with a link to the finished project, which is called SlimKicker. Genuinely curious about how it all turned out, I created an account and have been playing around with it. And I have to say, it's actually been really interesting & informative.

How it works:

1) Sign up for a free account & enter your basic information (name, height, weight, age, gender, activity level, goals).

2) Choose a reward for your first "level up" if you so desire. (I have not been doing this because I'm mostly just playing around with it, but some of the suggestions include a cheat meal or a splurge purchase.) You can upload a picture of your reward to appear on your Dashboard page if you so desire.

3) Log your food & exercise & earn points. I love that the points toward your level-ups come from logging healthy behaviors (ie, you get 1 pt for logging a food, +20 for a serving of fruit or veggies, a point for every minute of physical activity, including things like housework & gardening, etc.) and not weight loss. (There is no way I could get behind it otherwise.)

4) Complete week-long challenges to earn additional points (ie, "20 push-ups every day" for +500, "No snacks after dinner" for +500, "Skip the elevator" for +700, "A new veggie a day" for +800, etc.). As you level up, you unlock additional challenges.

This is the default image the site assigned me since I didn't upload one. Don't I look hardcore? I also did not pick a reward so it looks like my reward is a set of little glass pikachus.

The food database seems pretty darn extensive, moreso than other online programs like this I've used in the past. When I eat something that's not in there, I can usually find something pretty close to substitute that I feel like will have more or less the same nutritional values. For example, I had a chicken pesto sandwich the other day from the pub across the street. Obviously that is not in the database and there's no way for me to find the actual nutritional values, but searching for 'chicken pesto sandwich' returned about 20 items & I just used the one that seemed to be about the same size & have pretty similar ingredients.

(With any kind of online food/activity tracking application, you have to accept that you're only ever going to get reasonably good approximations. The vast majority of the time, I've found the level of precision to be totally adequate for seeing & keeping track of long-term trends.)

Things I've learned:

1) I am *shocked* at how little fat, salt (except when we go out), and cholesterol I apparently eat. SHOCKED. (Well...on most days. One day I went from being at about 20% of my daily salt limit to WAAAAY over it by having a piece of smoked salmon in an attempt to up my protein without adding to the carbs & sugar.)

2) I eat way, WAY more carbs than SlimKicker thinks I'm supposed to, even with my activity level on the highest setting. Like 160-200%.

3) My sugar consumption is not particularly high, but given how little added sugar I eat, I was surprised that it's as high as it is. What I'd consider to be a low-sugar day is usually just about right on, and an average-sugar day is a bit high. (Basically, if I have any kind of dessert or fruit juice, it's game over right there.)

4) I eat a more reasonable amount of protein & fiber, but still apparently not really enough. Right now it is VERY hard to reach the bar on either of these guys without overshooting salt, sugar, or carbs.

5) My total calories are usually right on or a little under.

Right after my usual breakfast (1 cup plain nonfat yogurt, 2/3 cup Nature's Path granola, 1 cup strawberries, & 20 almonds). You can see what I mean about the sugar & carbs. Nature's Path is pretty low sugar as granolas go, but the natural milk sugars in yogurt are significant.

The pros & cons:

PROs:

• I am a numbers person who likes earning points and gold stars. I get an unreasonable thrill out of entering my 8-mile run or my two cups of vegetables & seeing a big ol' "+65" or "+20" dumped into my progress bar, even though I don't even have a reward I'm working towards. I'm all, "YEAH!!! Take THAT, bitches!!!!" even though there are in fact no bitches involved to take anything from me.
• Speaking of which, I like that it's not competitive. You can have friends and groups, but the site doesn't compare your points or progress to other people's.
• If you want, you can go into the settings & adjust the nutrient levels from what the app assigned to you based on your info.
• A lot of the point-earning behaviors are things I would do & have been doing for years anyway, but I've found that the tracking & getting points actually has changed my diet, which I think was already reasonably good, in some positive ways. (ie, I've been eating more vegetables, fruits, protein, & healthy fats, & less sugars & carbs.) I didn't go into this with the intent of losing weight, but the fact remains that after about three weeks I weigh 4.5 pounds less than I did when I started, which is well beyond the usual day-to-day variation.
• There are no penalties for going over your calorie / nutrient thresholds; if you're at a birthday party & decide that by golly you're going to have some cake & ice cream & screw the sugar threshold today, you can do so without fear of reprisal. The app counts on rewards for positive behaviors to motivate you. (Besides, no one's going to make you log that cake...)
• Again, I like that although you can enter & track your weight if you want, you don't earn points for dropping pounds.

CONs:

Or con, singular, I guess, so far. My one real complaint is that your calorie & nutrient thresholds are set, and determined by whatever info you enter (age, height, weight, activity level, goals) when you first create your account, as opposed to similar sites that set your levels initially at what they should be if you were basically inactive, then increase them as you log physical activities based on how many extra calories you've burned.

There are five activity levels to choose from -- Beginner (trying to get into shape), Lightly active (1-3 days/week), Moderately active (3-5 days/week), Very active (6-7 days/week), & Extra Active (athlete/training). This makes it tough because being active 4 days a week, for example, can mean 4 days of light yoga or short, easy jogs, or it can mean 4 days of heavy marathon & strength training. It also makes it hard to account for variation in your weeks. (We all know how hard it is to average these things.)

Initially I went with "Very active (6-7 days/week)," but that had me eating around 1400 calories a day, which felt really low to me for someone who is "very active." So, even though I don't feel like I'm necessarily in the "Extra Active (athlete/training)" category, I switched my settings to that, which puts my calories at more like 1700 a day. I'm sure it all averages out, but I think I'd still prefer a model where the thresholds change as you enter your activities for the day.

If nothing else, it's gotten me to pay more attention what I'm eating nutrient-wise instead of just focusing on calories. Yes, it's nice to be a runner & be all like, "But I HAVE to eat all these healthy carbs, I have to FUEL my RUN," but the fact is that most of us should probably be getting more of those carbs from fruits & vegetables & less from breads & pasta. Also, if I'm getting the amount of protein & fat that I should be, I don't actually have the calorie budget for that stuff anyway.

I've recently been told I should be getting more calcium as well, so that's something else I'm learning more about lately. You may be getting a few more nutrition-related posts from me than usual in the near future, I fear. ;)

I guess I should put in one of those disclaimer thingies, about how I haven't been compensated in any way for writing this post, the opinions expressed here are all my own, blah, blah blah....You know the drill.

A Public Service Announcement

Most of the time I stay away from putting personal stuff on this blog that's not clearly running-related. )In fact I would say that's my attitude toward the internet in general.) And I suppose strictly speaking what I want to talk about today is vaguely running-related. I considered for a while leaving the personal parts out, but this is the kind of post that I feel like has the potential to save a life, and if hearing my personal perspective makes it more real or motivates you to take it more seriously, then it's worth the small loss of privacy for me.

So.

If you read running blogs or magazines or follow any kind of running-type-news, you've probably heard about the March death of ultra-runner Micah True, or "Caballo Blanco" as he was known to many. True died on a routine twelve-mile run in the New Mexico wilderness. At the time the cause of death was unknown, but on Tuesday officials announced after an autopsy that the cause of death was idiopathic cardiomyopathy. (Follow the link for more detailed explanations; the short version is that 'cardiomyopathy' refers to a type of heart disease that causes enlargement of all or part of the heart, and 'idiopathic' just means that the cause is unknown.) It doesn't sound as if True was aware of his condition.

True's is not the first high-profile running death--not by a long shot. It seems like we hear about them more and more these days, each one creating an explosion of alarmist headlines like, "Is Marathon Running Really That Safe?" and "Are You Running Yourself to Death?" and "Marathons May Cause Heart Damage" and "Beware Marathon Heart Injury." It's one of those topics that I expect major news organizations like The New York Times and CBS have a mostly-pre-written piece about sitting around that they can run on short notice the next time someone dies at a distance event. (You can kind of tell because they all reference the same statistics & quotes & studies over and over again, & just add in a couple of sentences referencing the most recent tragedy.)

For a while the increase in the number of deaths during or after marathons called into question the safety of marathon and other types of long-distance running; over the last, say, 20 years or so, though, these concerns have largely been put to rest. We now have tons of evidence that, far from causing heart damage, intense cardiovascular activity has a protective effect and actually lowers a person's risk of a cardiac event (by up to 50%!), even when risk factors like family history or obesity are present, and people who do "vigorous leisure time activities" who do have a cardiac event have a 29% lower fatality rate than those who don't (Paffenbarger et al. 1978; Sesso et al. 2000). In a study of deaths from sudden cardiac arrest in healthy people, vigorous exercisers had a 67% lower risk (Siscovick, 1984). These are just two examples of many, MANY studies that have been done; for more, I refer you to The Lore of Running by Tim Noakes, Chapter 15.

Furthermore, it's become very clear that these aren't random people dropping dead out of nowhere. Very, very occasionally we'll see a death caused by dehydration, hyperthermia, or hyponatremia, but the VAST majority of deaths during marathons & other endurance events can be traced to pre-existing heart disease or other cardiovascular conditions, meaning the person was at a much higher risk than the general population for a cardiovascular event anyway. We just hear about these deaths more, because they're more public. In that respect, it's mostly a numbers game: The popularity of long-distance running has exploded in the last few decades, and the more people participate in an activity, the more deaths will occur during that activity. It's just as true for knitting or gardening as it is for skydiving or mountain climbing.

Of course, that's not to say that people die during endurance running and gardening sessions in the same proportions. Although Siscovick found that vigorous exercisers had an overall lower risk of sudden death from cardiac arrest, those that did die suddenly were more likely to die during said vigorous exercise than not. Endurance running is a physically demanding activity, and any activity that requires your heart to beat significantly faster or even moderately faster for long periods of time does stress the cardiovascular system. (After all, that's what makes us stronger, and part of what lowers the overall risk of a cardiac event.)

But once you've been doing it for a while and gotten comfortable with the distance and the experience of running really far, it's easy to become a bit blasé about what you're actually asking your body to do and what the biological effects are. For example, in a study of healthy runners, one researcher (Neilan, et al., 2006) found mildly impaired heart function up to a month post-marathon. Not dangerously impaired, but enough to register medically and be statistically significant. A 2001 study (Siegal) found levels of inflammatory and coagulation markers typically associated only with heart attack victims that lasted for 24 hours. For all that those facts might sound a little scary, they're not that big of a deal for a healthy person who is properly trained, fueled, & hydrated. But for someone with a pre-existing cardiovascular condition, it's a different story.

The overwhelming number of people who suffer a cardiac event while running or soon after an event have such a condition. Some are aware of it & receiving treatment. But most have experienced symptoms & warning signs (frequent, inexplicable fatigue, regular chest pains, dizziness, nausea) and ignored them, and a few have what is known as silent heart disease, meaning they are fit, strong, have few or no risk factors, and never experienced symptoms.

This is where I come in. I joke sometimes about how when I started running track in high school, I sort of picked the worst possible extracurricular given my exercise-induced asthma and barrage of biomechanical issues. It turns out the truth is a little less funny.

I've had a heart murmur all my life. When I was a kid no one worried about this much because they're fairly common in children as the heart develops and usually go away on their own. Mine, on the other hand, did not go away and has gradually become more pronounced. Realistically, even in adults most heart murmurs are benign and require nothing more than a check-up every now and then to make sure there are no symptoms of anything more serious (ie, certain types of murmurs can indicate conditions that lead to cardiomyopathy), which has always been the case for me.

My case is complicated by a few things, though. First, heart disease runs in my family. In spite of being fit, active, and eating a healthy diet, my grandmother suffered from HD for years and had multiple heart attacks, one of which caused her death when she was only 60 or so. Second, high blood pressure / hypertension runs on that side of the family as well (realistically the two are probably related). My grandmother had it and so does my dad. Third, given how (reasonably) well I eat and how active I am, you might expect my blood pressure to be crazy low. Not only does it run high for a young healthy active person, it runs high for an average, sedentary, junk-food eating American.

Even though I've never had any real symptoms (beyond the occasional chest pain), all of these things taken together put me at uncomfortably high risk for heart disease / cardiovascular event. Thankfully my age, weight, general health, diet, and activity level are all on my side, but it is still something I have to think about and pay attention to. I have to monitor my blood pressure regularly and be at least somewhat careful about my diet. (This is fairly easy given how little I eat high-fat/cholesterol/junk/processed food/red meat; it's mostly the salt that's tough sometimes, especially when eating out.)

I am grateful every day that I am able to run at all, let alone run as much and as fast and, yes, even as pain-free as I am. I think about all the force my feet absorb, the crazy lacework of bones and tendons that supports and moves my body weight, the intricate rope-and-pully system of my legs, the layers of muscle that stretch and contract, the infinitely complex network of nerves that fire in exactly the right order so that I can keep doing what I do. I push my muscles and joints. I praise them when they recover quickly, chide them when they're complain-ey, exhort them give just a little more toward the end of a race, joke about the relatively minor ways that they aren't perfect. Legs get a lot of attention from runners because they're flashy and sexy, you can see when they are working hard, and you can post pictures of them on your blog to keep people from getting too bored by all the words.

If you don't have at least 1-2 pictures like this per month in your running blog, I hear the internet shuts it down. (I mock because I love.)

As much as I adore them, though, my legs are not the linchpin of this whole operation.

If I hurt my IT band, maybe I have to rest and foam roll for a couple of weeks. If I have some concerning pain in my shins, maybe I have to take a day off and sit on the couch and ice. I have the luxury of whining on the internet about what is very, very much a first world problem. Yes, having a musculo-skeletal injury is sad and irritating. But not being able to run for a while is truly the worst possible thing that can happen as a result.

If there are issues with my heart, on the other hand--chest pains, blood pressure that won't settle down, bloodwork out of whack--that is an entirely different story. I am not pouting on the internet about the fact that I can't run. I'm not gingerly testing things out in the hallway to see if it still hurts. I'm not plotting my glorious return to racing. All I'm really doing is feeling grateful that I'm not hospitalized and am still breathing, and paying very, very close attention to my doctor.

As circumstances would have it, I had a checkup on the day True's cause of death was announced. I watched my doctor's face closely as she listened to my heart, trying to read her mind and searching for any hint of what she was going to tell me. It used to be that the site of the murmur was easy to pinpoint; these days not so much. It seems to be coming from everywhere, which ups the chances that it could be something structural. In the next week or so I'll have an echocardiogram and a blood panel to look at a bunch of stuff related to hypertension & heart disease, just to make sure there is still nothing more serious going on.

She likes that I run. (Indeed, there is evidence that healthy people at higher risk tend to benefit the most from intense exercise.) I'm not sure how crazy she is about how much I run and how hard I run (if only occasionally). I know that all of these factors nudge me every so slightly in to the higher-risk pool in terms of collapsing at the end of a race from a cardiac event. Every time a doctor listens to my heart or watches an echo or reviews my latest blood panel I worry that today will be the day they say, sorry, the risk is too high now. No more running. Or less running. Or no racing all-out.

All of this is to implore you not to take your health--the really important parts of your health--for granted. People on running blogs are always going on and on about how they "listen to their bodies" and decided to take this day off or shorten that run or whatever because their legs were tired, or their ankle felt funny, or that twinge in their hip was getting worse, or what have you. That is all fine and good, but please don't mistake that for monitoring your health. It's not the same thing. I know we're prone to making stuff like that into omg DRAMA and making it sound like the most critical thing ever because at the time it can feel very dramatic and like one of the worst things that could happen in our running lives. But the fact is that it's really, really not.

If your legs are tired and you run 10 miles anyway, oh well. Even if you insist on making it worse first, your ankle will eventually get better. If you ignore the twinge in your hip, the worst thing that possibly happens is you end up not being able to run for a few months & forking over a shit ton of cash to sports medicine people & PTs. The aboslute, worst fucking thing. (I know because I did that. Spoiler alert! The world didn't end and I'm faster now than I've been in 10 years.)

If you ignore the symptoms of cardiovascular problems because they don't seem that bad or because you think you're too young / fit / active / healthy / etc. to be at risk, you can end up with *actual* problems.

So, PLEA #1:

• If you have unexplained fatigue that goes on for days or recurs that can't be explained by lack of sleep, poor diet, overtraining, etc., see a doctor.
• If you have chest pains severe enough to make you go "Ow!" more than a couple of times a year, see a doctor.
• If you have any unexplained loss of consciousness, see a doctor (though I suppose in most cases you would want to do that anyway, even if you did know the explanation).
• If you have GI symptoms that recur or go on for a while that you can't explain or resolve, see a doctor.

Other more subtle signs of cardiac trouble include inexplicable shortness of breath, fast heartbeat, weakness/dizziness, nausea, and sweating. (You can see how it's possible, sometimes, for people who are training hard to miss these less dramatic signs.)

PLEA #2: Even if you're symptom free, do not assume that just because you are young and fit and active and eat well that you are not at risk, particularly if you don't know your family medical history re: cardiovascular stuff. Yes, the odds are in your favor. But, as a doctor friend of mine likes to put it, this is one of those "low risk, ludicrous stakes" sorts of things.

If you don't go to your doctor, if you don't have things like your heart and lungs checked out and there's a problem you don't know about, there can be real consequences. Yes, the overwhelming majority of us are fine and have nothing to worry about as long as we train, fuel, and hydrate properly, but I cringe a little every time I hear about a runner dropping dead during or after a hard race from a cardiovascular event and all the friends and family are like, "But we had no idea!" Especially when the victim is a young, healthy person with no obvious risk factors. I feel like people who are taking on endurance events who are older, less active, or know they have potentially risk factors take the whole "Check in with your doctor" thing reasonably seriously. Young, healthy people with no symptoms...not so much.

No, my heart checkups are not going to fix what's wrong with me. But knowing that I have an elevated risk and having this work done semi-regularly means that if things start to move in a bad direction, my doctor is more likely to be able to catch it early and treat me, which could prevent me from developing actual HD. And that's about my long-term survival, not running.

So please make sure to listen to the really important parts of your body in addition to the flashy parts. When in doubt, get something that seems minor checked out--it's better to find out the easy way that it's nothing than the hard way that it's not. Also, please remember that feeling strong and fit is not the same thing as actually being fully healthy, and that there are aspects of your health that you can't assess on your own. If nothing else, get your doctor to check out your heart, lungs, and blood pressure once a year, just to be sure you are as fit and strong as you feel. I know it sounds trite, but it really could end up saving your life.

Sources:

• Neilan, Mousavi, Czarnecki, Kumar, Fallah-Rad, Lytwyn, Han, Francis, Walker, & Kirkpatrick. Relation of Biomarkers and Cardiac Magnetic Resonance Imaging After Marathon Running. The American Journal of Cardiology 103(10):1467-1472
• Noakes, Tim. The Lore of Running, Chapter 15: Running and Your Health
• Noakes, Tim. Heart disease in marathon runners: a review.
• Paffenbarger, Wing, & Hyde. (1978) Chronic disease in former college students: XVI. Physical activity as an index of heart attack risk in college alumni. American Journal of Epidemiology 108:161–175
• Sesso & Paffenbarger. (2000) Physical activity and coronary heart disease in men: The Harvard Alumni Study. Circulation 102:975-980
• Siegel, Stec, Lipinska, Van Cott, Lewandrowski, Ridker, & Tofler. (2001) Effect of marathon running on inflammatory and hemostatic markers. American Journal of Cardiology 88(8):918-20, A9
• Siscovick, Weiss, Fletcher, & Lasky. (1984) The incidence of primary cardiac arrest during vigorous exercise. New England Journal of Medicine 311:874-877