The Year of No Shopping

In general I'm not big on resolutions or setting new goals just because I have a new calendar, but a month or so ago I read this article by Ann Patchett and immediately went, "OMG. She is me and I am her. I need to do this."

The article is about how in February 2009 she learned over lunch that a friend had made 2008 her "no shopping" year.

"After traveling for much of the previous year, she had decided she had enough stuff, or too much stuff. She made a pledge that for 12 months she wouldn’t buy shoes, clothes, purses or jewelry.

...

At the end of 2016, our country had swung in the direction of gold leaf, an ecstatic celebration of unfeeling billionaire-dom that kept me up at night. I couldn’t settle down to read or write, and in my anxiety I found myself mindlessly scrolling through two particular shopping websites, numbing my fears with pictures of shoes, clothes, purses and jewelry. I was trying to distract myself, but the distraction left me feeling worse, the way a late night in a bar smoking Winstons and drinking gin leaves you feeling worse. The unspoken question of shopping is 'What do I need?' What I needed was less."

There was so much recognition for me in those words. Now, I would not in any way describe myself as a compulsive shopper or hoarder. I have never put myself in financial danger through frivolous spending. But distracting myself from anxieties about the world by going, "Let me just see what cute dresses are on sale at Nordstrom" or "Perhaps there is a comfy running top I need at Athleta, better check"? Spotting something randomly that I didn't even know existed until that moment and suddenly feeling like I NEEEED it? Getting sucked into good deal after clearance item after massive discount code because "How can I afford NOT to buy it???" Yeah; that all needs to stop.

So, 2018, in addition to the Year of Racing All The Things, you are now the Year of No Shopping.

Let's be clear that "no shopping" is very different than "no spending." Saving some extra money as a side effect will be nice but it's not my primary goal. I know a lot of people do "No-spend November," the idea being that you eat out of your pantry and freezer and don't go out and don't get sucked into Black Friday madness, and I applaud them, and maybe one of these years I'll even join in for a month. But in 2018, it's not about not spending for me, so much as it's about breaking some particularly bad shopping habits.

Like:

1) I have too much stuff. I don't even think I'm one of the worst offenders in the world, and I've done two major purges of my belongings in the last couple of years as we moved and then packed everything up to put in storage for the renovations. But still, every time I walk into our under-renovations house or the condo where we're staying or the storage unit where all our other crap is, I find myself feeling absolutely crushed under the psychic weight of So. Much. STUFF. So sure, I want to continue getting rid of stuff, but I really really really do not want to accumulate any MORE stuff, with the exception of specific items that are truly needed.

2) I sometimes shop for stuff I don't need to distract myself or self-soothe. (See above.) I need to not do that, because it's wasteful from a money standpoint, it results in having more stuff I don't actually need, and it stems from avoiding something I should probably go actually deal with.

3) I come up with crazy 'what if' scenarios. I'll see something that I kind of like and think, "WHAT IF SOMEONE INVITES ME TO ____ THEME PARTY SOME YEAR AND THIS WOULD BE PERFECT BUT I DIDN'T BUY IT SO THEN I HAVE NOTHING????" or "WHAT IF ONE NIGHT I WANT TO MAKE X DISH THAT THIS WINE WOULD BE PERFECT WITH BUT THEN I DIDN'T BUY IT AND HAVE TO SERVE A SLIGHTLY LOWER QUALITY PAIRING???" Like, no. Just stop with the catastrophizing. Maybe those situations will even happen, but guess what, oh well. (Note: This is the same logic I use to keep from throwing out stuff I haven't used in years because WHAT IF???)

4) I feel like a new occasion (race, social event, etc.) requires a new THING. "I can't wear this dress to so-and-so's party, I just wore it to a wedding with some of the same people like three years ago!" Things I have actually thought. I often feel weird about "re-wearing" a top for a race which is just the height of absurdity. Like. No one cares?? Or even notices?? Why do I even care??

5) I can't resist a good deal. I'm not saying that good deals should be 100% off the table but sometimes they just result in more stuff coming into my house and taking up space. See: The 10 boxes of brand-new running shoes stacked in the closet, all purchased at great discounts. Buying discount shoes is awesome but it will take me years to go through all of them and in the mean time they're just taking up space and then what if by the time I get around to using them I don't even like them anymore. Stockpiling is only useful up to a point.

6) I sometimes shop just to remind myself that I can. I went for so long with very little or no expendable income that there is still a part of my brain that goes, "Oooooh, you shouldn't buy that, it's expensive/you don't really need it/etc." And then another part goes "SHUT UP, POOR BRAIN! We are not poor anymore! We are allowed to spend money! HERE I'LL PROVE IT!" It is okay for me to spend frivolous money sometimes but this is a dumb reason to do it.

Like Ann, I decided on a somewhat arbitrary set of rules that I thought best addressed breaking those habits but also not being so draconian that I'd poop out by February. I still plan to buy necessities like toiletries, basic household items, and food. We are furnishing & decorating our newly renovated house this year so I'm still going to buy what's needed to do that (which will involve some shopping). I still plan to buy things that we or I legitimately NEED (where 'need' is not defined as 'necessary for survival' but still pretty tightly constrained. Like if the lime juicer breaks and we want margaritas, I'm buying a new lime juicer but not upgrading to some fancy shiny lime juicer just because).

Essentially, when I say 'no shopping,' I mean:

- No wine buying. I have a lot of very good, very ready to drink wine that's been in storage (and thus not getting consumed) for the last year. The possible exception being that something specific is needed (say we are invited to a dinner with a specific menu & bringing the wine) & there is (somehow) nothing suitable in the existing stash. Mainly the idea is that the size of the existing stash will not go UP, and I have to stop snatching up AWESOME DEALS on AMAZING VINTAGES because OMG THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Which is true, but also there are different good deals happening every other week, and other crazy deals will still be happening next year and the year after that and the year after that, and since I can't buy (or even drink) them all, what's the harm in skipping all of this year's offerings.

- No new running clothes or shoes (barring maybe a Boston souvenir or two). Honestly I've done a pretty good job of breaking myself of this habit over the last couple of years by reminding myself that I already have more than I need, & that's kind of made continuing to buy more feel gluttonous and gross. I don't care much about keeping up with the latest trends, so really I'm just planning to continue not buying & using up what I have (which...could take a very long time). As with the wine, there's always some hot new brand or some just-perfect-just-my-size something on clearance, and that will still be the case at all moments in the future. (One exception: The only sports bra I have ever loved has been discontinued, and my current stash, all 3-8 years old, are nearing the end of their usable lifespan.)

- No new clothes/accessories shopping via idleness/anxiety, crushing on something for no new good reason, or feeling like I need something new for a particular occasion (really, I don't, barring some very unlikely situation similar to the wine situation above). It is true that I often lament my lack of proper grown-up work clothes, but I also realllly hate shopping for them, and it's not like I'm wearing the same outfit every other day. So eh, I can get by for a year, and on the plus side, woohoo! No pressure to work-clothes-shop!

- No new books unless I *actually*, *literally* have nothing to read that I'm excited about. There is currently a rather large-ish stack, so it should be quite sometime before I *need* a new book. (Sidenote: "You could use the library." Yes, I could use the library, but experience tells me that I am quite bad at libraries as it involves actually traveling to a brick-and-mortar place and then remembering and making an additional trip to return something. This is one of the things I am worst at in life which is why I do nearly 100% of my shopping online. (I do use their online audiobook and e-book apps on occasion, but availability is not always great and sometimes the apps don't really work.) So yes, sure, maybe I'll give it a shot, but I'm not going to hold my breath about it. I also do borrow from friends occasionally, but seeing as it takes me like a month to ever even make plans with someone, I'm not very good at that, either.)

- No 'gadgets,' except for things that meet the we/I-actually-need-it criteria above. Like, I do plan to buy a car phone holder since I've needed to do that for a while. But in general, no going, Ooh! That's nifty! {Add to cart}

I also decided that 'no shopping' includes active "window shopping." I can see an easy loophole where I go, "Oh, let me just make some wish lists for my birthday and Christmas just so people know what to get me!" No. If I don't already know of something that I want, I most definitely should not be hunting for *new* things to want. And besides, half the point is to save the time spent shopping.

(For the past couple of holidays, I've just told my family, "Please don't get me any stuff, please just make donations to [charities] if you feel the need to spend money for my sake." It was mostly because the thought of getting more stuff while we were about to go through/in the middle of renovations was too horrifying to contemplate, but I also found it strangely freeing to not have to make a Christmas list, work out the transporting of Things, and figure out what to do with said Things once I had them.)

I think those are the major areas for me. I'm not a kitchen gadget person. I don't accumulate toiletry products like makeup or smelly lotions at a crazy rate. (In fact, I actually use up lipsticks/chapsticks/nail polish/etc. most of the time.) I'm not a trinket/tchotchke person or a collector. So I think if I can nail those major areas above, I should be good.

To keep me accountable, I've been keeping a spreadsheet of literally every penny that I spend (outside of work expenses since those are required and reimbursed) and what it was spent on, something I never possibly could have done in the past because of the sheer quantity of spending. Thus far, I haven't found it to be very difficult. I never realized how much pressure I felt to hunt for deals when I'd get a 'sale' email from some place, or how much emotional energy is involved in the should-I-or-shouldn't-I decision of whether something is worth it, so it's actually felt pretty great to just go through my email and delete all of that stuff without a second thought (and also, to unsubscribe as much as possible). Likewise it's oddly satisfying to see an internet add for something I could maybe possibly use and go, "Actually, no, I'm going to spend the next twenty minutes doing something useful, thanks!" I'm curious to see whether it stays this easy or if I find myself chafing at the bit a few months from now.

We shall see.