NOT DEAD YET (Part 1)

Hi hi friends! Honestly I do not know who even reads this anymore, but since the worst thing that happens is that this missive sits unread out in the ether, what is there to lose really?

Anyway, if you are here and reading, welcome! You are great and I love you.

I'm finding that I sometimes go through the following cycle:

(1) Blog semi-consistently for a while 

(2) Get super-duper-hella busy & overwhelmed with life & work 

(3) Realize that in some ways blogging gives my life & thoughts a certain kind of structure that I start to miss after a few months 

(4) Sheepishly slink back to Blogger & write an awkward/apologetic "Heeeyyyyy it's me again????" post 

I heard keeping readers on their toes like that is great for getting those clicks and growing readership. Everyone love a little "will-she-won't-she" tension, amirite? Now you know my secret.

Dare I Write A Blog Post?

No matter how many new and shiny podcasts come out, one of my favorite will always and forever remain "This American Life," hosted by Ira Glass.

In one episode, Ira glass said something that I feel in my soul:

"Today’s radio show is about asking a grown-up for advice. I am fully grown up. And I’m older than I sound on the radio....[O]ld enough that, last week, when I read something by somebody in their 30s who said, well, of course nobody ever fully feels like a grown-up, I wanted to say, no, I actually feel like a grown-up. I feel like a grown-up. I feel my responsibilities. I feel the weight of them. I know when I have lived up to my own ideals for how I want to be in the world and treat others around me, and when I haven’t, I feel it. I feel tired in this way that I definitely did not when I was younger."

I heard Ira Glass say this and I very nearly started sobbing into my hands. Because, young people, yes, you do reach a point where you really, truly feel like a grown up, where you do not feel like you're faking it. Not all adults are just grown-up kids making it up as they go. And when you reach that age, it. Is. EXHAUSTING.

The Life-Changing Magic of Bottoming Out

As you might imagine, after we got home from Big Sur on April 30th, I took a week completely off all physical activity (except going to work, which is to say, I went to work *at least* three days of five). Recently, though, I've gotten back to a basic level of activity. Very, very basic.

Some things I've been up to post-Boston/Big Sur:

Karate. I've been treating my class like my red headed step child these last few months & was starting to wonder if our students would even remember who I was. I still can't do any kicks properly but at least I can move around okay.