NOT DEAD YET (Part 1)

Hi hi friends! Honestly I do not know who even reads this anymore, but since the worst thing that happens is that this missive sits unread out in the ether, what is there to lose really?

Anyway, if you are here and reading, welcome! You are great and I love you.

I'm finding that I sometimes go through the following cycle:

(1) Blog semi-consistently for a while 

(2) Get super-duper-hella busy & overwhelmed with life & work 

(3) Realize that in some ways blogging gives my life & thoughts a certain kind of structure that I start to miss after a few months 

(4) Sheepishly slink back to Blogger & write an awkward/apologetic "Heeeyyyyy it's me again????" post 

I heard keeping readers on their toes like that is great for getting those clicks and growing readership. Everyone love a little "will-she-won't-she" tension, amirite? Now you know my secret.

Race Report: Stow Lake Stampede 5K 2022

Why did I sign up for this race?

This race was another on the PA short-course circuit where I thought we might end up having a team, and it seemed like a nice follow-up to the (40)8K in April. It didn't hurt that it's super close to home (just three miles away in Golden Gate Park) on extremely familiar ground.

I was also just excited to try my hand at a 5K again, especially in a situation where I'd have a big chunk of weeks to train for it consistently in a way that really targeted 5K speed. So often when I've run 5Ks it's been in the middle of training for a longer distance, or the beginning of a season as a kind of fitness gauge, or a convenient way to get in a workout; I was really curious what I might be able to do at this point with some for-real 5K-specific training. 

I really do believe that variety in what you train for plays a big role in everything from keeping running and training mentally fresh to making you fitter and less injury-prone by switching up the physical stimuli, so it was nice to do a couple of months training for the half and 10-miler and then switch gears to shorter, more speed-focused stuff.

And then what happened?

Stow Lake Race Week + Spring Racing Comes to An End!

(Posting this for the sake of completion -- alas I didn't manage to get it up before leaving for vacation. :) )

Hello from the end of spring racing season 2022! Apparently I finished up my spring races just in time for it to get hella hot out. No 12-mile workouts in 90F for me, ha! (Er, at least for now.)

 *~*~Stow Lake Stampede 5K Race Week!~*~*~

Grand Total: 29.5 miles

* 24 easy
* 2.4 speed
* 3.1 race

Monday 5/16: Rest

Tuesday 5/17: a.m. 3 easy to/from gym + 1 hour strength; p.m. 2 warm up, 2 miles of 2:00 fast / 1:00 easy, 2 cool down = 9 total

Wednesday 5/18: 5 easy

Thursday 5/19: 3 easy to/from gym + 1 hour strength

Friday 5/20: 30-35 minutes easy Rest. I just had this hunch that my body needed to take an extra rest day this week before the race, so I went with it. No regrets!

Saturday 5/21: 3 easy + 4 strides = 3.4 total

Sunday 5/22: Race! 3 warm up, 3.1 race, 3 cool down = 9.1 total

(Race report here!)

Mental Health Talk: Less Thinking, More Running (1 Week to Stow Lake 5K)

Someone created this to help kids handle their anxious feelings better but spoiler, it's occasionally useful for certain 41-year-olds as well

***CONTENT WARNING***, mental health talk ahead.

So, some years ago I started getting treatment for anxiety, not like horrific life-altering can't-function-in-the-world-on-a-daily-basis anxiety but a kind of constant, low-grade-but-sometimes-*less*-low-grade anxiety that, when I stopped to think about it, I had really suffered from for basically my entire teenage & adult life.

There were some ways in which it manifested in running, mostly around perfectionism and catastrophizing about races and psyching myself out, then super beating myself up if things didn't go at least acceptably okay. (Not productive, do not recommend.)

And then there was a period of time (~2017ish to ~2019sih?) where I started to have some weird issues every time I'd go to the track, which historically had always been my favorite workout of the week. I was telling my therapist about this once incidentally, how sometimes I would be warming up and not even doing anything hard yet and my heart rate would shoot up really high and I'd have this ringing in my ears and a sensation like ice water running through my veins, and my hands would shake a little and suddenly I'd feel lightheaded and have a hard time catching my breath. Weird, huh? So yeah, anyway!

And my therapist was like, "Uhhhh back up there chief, do you think maybe you were maybe having a little panic attack?"

And I just scoffed like, "What? Now that is ridiculous. Of course I wasn't having a panic attack. I think I'd know if I was having a panic attack."

And she was like, "Uhhhhh are you sure about that because I am a therapist whose job it is to know these things and tbh it kind of sounds like a little mini panic attack."

And I was like, "Madam. Please. WHY on EARTH would I be having a PANIC ATTACK before my track workout?"

And she was like, "EXCELLENT QUESTION MY FRIEND, PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT, PERHAPS TO SOMEONE LIKE I DUNNO ME, UR LITERAL THEREAPIST????"

Training Log: 2 Weeks to Stow Lake Stampede

Wow, it is so hard to believe it is only two weeks to Stow Lake 5K & the end of my spring racing season, and only about 3.5 weeks until my vacation! 

I don't know why it should be so funny to notice training working and yet it never fails to entertain me. This week's mid-week workout was 6 x 1K at 5Kish pace (not that I really know what that is right now, but the intervals were supposed to be at roughly 6:40-7:05 pace). On paper that still seems REALLY FAST to me but on the first three intervals I found myself running ~6:45ish pace, I don't want to say comfortably, but with a feeling like "You know what, this isn't that awful, I could do it for a while."

The last three definitely got harder, particularly keeping the legs turning over quickly towards the end of the interval, but I still managed the last one at 6:48 pace without feeling like I was going to die. So in the end I ran them all between 6:41-6:48 pace. If you'd have asked me a year ago if that was ever in the cards again, I probably would have laughed. Even just a few months ago I probably would have grimaced doubtfully.

Then on Sunday I had 12 miles, with fartleks for the middle four, 2:00 fast/2:00 easy, which I decided to do actually *at* Stow Lake because a) it's a nice place to run & b) I never really run fast there it & seemed like I might as well take the opportunity to practice.

Some random photos of Stow Lake I happen to have on my phone. It does not suck! Though the swans might chase you in a threatening manner.

 "Fast" wasn't really defined so I tried to do the first 2:00 by feel & without looking at my watch, aiming for "as fast I can run that feels like I can do it eight times without redlining" & apparently that was around 6:45 pace, which shouldn't have surprised me after Tuesday but still kind of did. (I even saw 5:51-5:52 pace on my watch for some of that last hard 2:00, and you can be sure any time I see sub-6:00 on my watch under any circumstances, I will 100% mention it on the internet.)

While obviously I need the physical benefits of all the speed-focused stuff as much as anyone who is trying to run a fast 5K, I actually think my bigger hurdle has been mental; it's been so long since I've been able to run a 5K at sub-7:00 pace and so long since it was a pace I ran with any regularity that it's hard to believe it's something I can actually do, even with the right training. Running these workouts at what to me still feel like SOOOOPER fast paces has helped my brain kind of re-calibrate & go, "Okay, you know what, yes, 6:45 is a pretty hard and somewhat painful pace and also you have now trained your body so that it can actually maintain it for a while, possibly for an entire five kilometers."

Because after those workouts, I did find myself thinking that, yes, I actually think that physically I *could* run a 5K at that pace right now. Yes, it will be super hard and painful towards the end, but well, that's just racing, isn't it?

Of course, as I was reminded a couple of weeks ago, it all comes down to having a good day & getting the rest of your ducks in a row in terms of rest, recovery, mental state, etc. But I am feeling optimistic about Stow Lake!

 

 ~*~*~2 Weeks to Stow Lake Stampede 5K~*~*~

Grand Total: 38 miles

*  29 easy
*  9 speed

 

Monday 5/2: Rest

Tuesday 5/3: a.m. 3 easy to/from gym + 1 hour strength + p.m. 3 more easy = 6 total. This was a difficult mental health day for reasons I am sure many of you are already aware of & in the afternoon I was going a bit nuts & really needed a little physical activity to get the bees out of my skin.

Wednesday 5/4: warm up, 6 x 1K VO2 max (6:40-7:00 pace) / 2:30 jog, cool down 5 easy. In the gym we've been putting serious work toward strengthening my hamstrings and adductors, especially on the right side. It is clearly working because I woke up quite sore in my right hamstring/adductor! I could have tried the workout but I thought better to take an easy day & do it Thursday instead.

Thursday 5/5: 2.7 warm up, 6 x 1K VO2 max (6:40-7:00 pace) / 2:30 jog, 2.3 cool down (= 10 total) + 1 hour strength. The downside of moving the workout to this day was having to back-to-back it with strength. C'est la vie! Let's just say I ate a hearty dinner.

Friday 5/6: 5.5 easy. Grocery store run! + a little extra.

Saturday 5/7: Rest

Sunday 5/8: 4 warm up, 4 miles of 2:00 fast/2:00 easy, 4 cool down = 12 total.

Life Lately + The New Agreement

So, fleshing out a bit more of something I mentioned in my recent race report.

First is just the simple fact that work (and work travel) has been taking over my life lately. A couple of my work projects are legitimately high stakes right now (like, people's jobs on the line if I can't make some things work out) so I've been under a lot of pressure. Those things really do have to be my A-#1 priority right now. Unfortunately, the rest of my work hasn't conveniently shrunk to allow me to spend a greater portion of my day on the high stakes stuff, so I've had a lot of very long days. Working a 6-8 hour day in the office and then coming home to work *another* 4-6 hour day in the late afternoon/evening has, sadly, become a thing, as has working on the weekend (sometimes in airports and on planes).

I suspect it's probably not unrelated, but I've also started to feel really burnt out on running. No one is super excited about every run and workout all the time (I don't think??), but usually my bad days are limited to feeling super tired and unmotivated when I get home, forcing myself to put on my shoes and get out the door, and almost always feeling better. Lately it's been so much worse--lots of days when I'll think about the fact that I have a run on my schedule and want to burst into tears. Or I feel tired and sour about going on a run and then it never gets any better. Sometimes getting ready for a track workout and feeling like I'm about to have a panic attack, except it doesn't go away once I've gotten started.

Racking Up Small Victories

Slow working my way back up towards what feels like "real" mileage. I think in my schedule this was supposed to be a cut-back week, but because of all the little physical niggles I've had in the last couple of weeks that resulted in missed runs, this actually ended up being the highest mileage week I've run so far this year. Which is fine. Progress is progress.

Also, hey! Not only attempted but COMPLETED all my runs this week!

Tell Me It's Just Stress

This week wasn't perfect, but, hey! It makes one more where I've had the time & bandwidth to at least ATTEMPT every run on the schedule, and it also included two double-digit workouts. Honestly I'm kind of amazed at how beat up my legs feel after this 33+ mile week (they feel like it was at least 50), but I think that's at least partly still working back up to higher mileage & longer/harder workouts after a bit of a holiday break.

(I've also had a lot of work stress recently, and I think we all know that mental/emotional stress slows healing/recovery, so that could also be part of it.)

~*~*~ STOW LAKE STAMPEDE: Week 6 of 14 ~*~*~

Grand Total: 33.15 miles

* 7.5 easy
* 6.65 speed
* 6 threshold
* 13 long

6 x mile @ 10K pace

Tuesday's track workout: 2 warm up, 6 x mile @ 10K pace (7:09) / 1:30 jog, 1.5 cool down

Guys, two things. 1) I was absolutely quaking in my boots about this workout for DAYS beforehand. I literally cannot remember the last time I did SIX mile repeats (possibly, never), and 2) I do not not NOT believe that 7:09 is my current 10K pace, even fresh & tapered. At first when I saw this workout, I was like, "RunCoach, you are smokin' some crack."

But then I put my recent 5K time into a (non-RunCoach) race pace predictor and guess what:

Ugh, fine, whatever.

Stow Lake Stampede: A Bumpy Start...

Sooo a few weeks back I was emailing with the erstwhile Faster Bunny about 5K training plans and how most of the ones on the internet are of the Couch-to-5K or otherwise rank beginner variety, for good reason; when most people are just getting started with running or coming back after a break, 5K is the logical place to start and a kind and gentle plan is called for. Hence lots of nice, mellow 5K plans that are light on workouts and low on mileage.

But, sometimes, people with lots of experience and a reasonable amount of fitness and tolerance for discomfort also want to run a 5K, not just to finish but to utterly destroy it, and those folks also need a solid training plan that meets their particular needs and goals. That's part of what I've really liked about RunCoach--you tell the system what and when your goal race is and how you want to organize your week, and it takes into account your entire history (particularly training volume and performance) and uses the algorithm to generate a plan that in my experience has been pretty darn solid. (I give RunCoach a lot of the credit for going from a 3:47 marathon to a 3:36 and then 3:31.)

Before these last couple of 5K-focused cycles, I had personally never seen a 5K training program aimed at a more experienced, competitive-but-still-recreational runner vs. a more beginner plan. (I'd seen excerpts from a few pro 5K runners' training logs but those were hardly relevant to me either.) It's been cool to see 10-12 mile speed-focused workouts on the plan regularly, though, as I told Faster Bunny, it also kind of scares the shit out of me a bit.

Though, if we're honest, I have yet to follow it consistently in 2019. Which I guess makes it both less and more scary.

Which is all a roundabout way of saying I've been meaning to train my butt off for a wicked fast 5K in April, but the universe and my body have just not been very cooperative over the last couple of months, which is frustrating when you're PAYING for that sweet-but-utterly-terriying training plan. There's not really been enough to make it worth (in my opinion) writing entire weekly logs, but here's a quick overview:

The Case for Quitting Workouts

I've seen a lot of conversations lately about the whole #nodaysoff campaign Tracksmith has going on, particularly around whether or not it's maybe an irresponsible message given that so many runners are competitive, super-driven Type A's inclined to git'er done no matter what the cost.

Personally, I don't see it that way; to me, #nodaysoff means not "no days off from running" but "no days off from focusing on your goal," which doesn't always include running, or even cross training. It means making the best decisions for your training every single day, and sometimes the best decision is "You know what, the training plan says xxx, but I'm most likely to get to the starting line healthy if today I sleep in, stretch, & maybe do some PT intead."

Not usually. But sometimes.

I think it's the same with quitting workouts. I've been injured or about to get injured often enough in my running career that it's an extremely familiar mental conversation with myself--"Hmm, that doesn't feel good. Maybe we should quit before something disastrous happens? Eh, I'm probably being dramatic, just freaking get it done. But what if I can't run for the next week as a result?? Won't it feel soooo good to just get it done? I mean, yeah, but how bad can it be to miss the last interval or two just to be safe? I mean??"

Et cetera.