Dare I Write A Blog Post?

No matter how many new and shiny podcasts come out, one of my favorite will always and forever remain "This American Life," hosted by Ira Glass.

In one episode, Ira glass said something that I feel in my soul:

"Today’s radio show is about asking a grown-up for advice. I am fully grown up. And I’m older than I sound on the radio....[O]ld enough that, last week, when I read something by somebody in their 30s who said, well, of course nobody ever fully feels like a grown-up, I wanted to say, no, I actually feel like a grown-up. I feel like a grown-up. I feel my responsibilities. I feel the weight of them. I know when I have lived up to my own ideals for how I want to be in the world and treat others around me, and when I haven’t, I feel it. I feel tired in this way that I definitely did not when I was younger."

I heard Ira Glass say this and I very nearly started sobbing into my hands. Because, young people, yes, you do reach a point where you really, truly feel like a grown up, where you do not feel like you're faking it. Not all adults are just grown-up kids making it up as they go. And when you reach that age, it. Is. EXHAUSTING.

And then there's the sheer state of the world right now. Everything is on fire. Or under water. Or turning into Gilead. Or descending into deadly chaos. And that's before we get to people who aren't willing to do even very basic things to help avoid infecting others with a potentially very dangerous virus.

It's enough to paralyze a person with helplessness.

Of course there are things we can do, and we try to do them. But it never feels like enough. How could it ever feel like enough?

Which brings us to hobby blogs. Talk about the height of useless navel-gazing, amirite? What relevance can my prattling on and on about my little hobby possibly have in such a world. Surely this energy is better spent somewhere else?

And, y'know, maybe. But I also think there is something to putting your own oxygen mask on first, and we all have to do what we can to keep from descending into utter depression where it is all that much MORE likely that we won't be able to do much for others. So to the extent that running and training and racing and writing about it keeps me stable and kinda-sorta-mostly sane and able to be a marginally useful person in ways that actually DO matter to the larger world, maybe it's okay to expend some of that energy here.

FAQ:

Still running, y/n?

Yes! I actually ran quite a lot in 2020, though except for a couple of races early in the year pre-pandemic and a couple of half-hearted speed workouts toward the end of the year, it was all easy. I did some mildly entertaining things I'll maybe save for another post. I am still running now, have done a few small races, and have a few others on the calendar.

August 28th's Santa Rosa 10K, which....we will cover later. Don't worry. :-|

How's the racing going?

Not great Bob, more on this later. (Still glad to be doing it, for the record.)

How is life generally?

So weird. I still have a job. In fact I maybe have kind of too much of a job. I am working at home with only two cats to worry about. (Don, who is also working from home, mostly takes care of himself. He has a lot of hair now.) I am vaccinated & and have not got COVID yet. Despite having very nearly every privilege/easy setting a person can have in this situation....it's still been really hard. But I have good friends and a good partner & the two ridiculous cats and I count my many, many blessings every day.

Wild-hair cat daddy

I have no idea how frequently I will manage to type words into this platform and hit publish (it's been so long since I did so that the entire interface has changed and I had to re-learn how to work it all!). But I am going to shoot for "More frequently, and shorter," which really just goes against every fiber in my being lol. Whattaya say, wanna hang out? :D