Cocktails: How to make a reeeaaaalllllly good gin & tonic (even if you don't like them)

(If you are only interested in running stuff, or actively NOT interested in alcohol stuff, feel free to skip this one & come back next time.)

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Friends. A word about gin & tonics. It seems they've been gaining popularity amongst the non-cocktail crowd as of late, so I feel the need to share, & this is my platform.

What is a gin & tonic? This seems obvious, but I keep seeing internet recipes that get it really really objectively wrong, so.

A gin & tonic has at least two ingredients: 1) gin & 2) tonic water. The biggest mistake I keep seeing on the internet is using gin & soda water (ie, ordinary carbonated water), which is not right. If you want to have a gin & soda, cool! But that's different from a gin & tonic.

For the history buffs in the room, we got gin & tonics from British India. A substance called quinine was found to prevent & treat malaria, & the easiest way to deliver the stuff was by dissolving it in soda water. Thus tonic water was born!

Alas, tonic water on its own was quite bitter, so British officers took to mixing it with their military gin ration, sometimes with a bit of sugar & lime. The molecular structure of gin & quinine, happily enough, bond to each other in a way that greatly reduces the bitterness, though today tonic water also contains less quinine & usually a little sugar as well (meaning you don't have to add sugar anymore).

So on the one hand, G&Ts are quite simple: Get some gin, get some real tonic water, mix em up over ice, add a little lime or something else flavorful if you want, & you're good.

(This is why I scratch my head every time I see a gin & tonic "recipe".... Like, guys, the recipe is in the name. Literally everything else about it is to taste.)

(I feel the same way about green smoothies, actually.)

Paradoxically, though... There is a lot of room for error here, hence 1) a lot of terrible G&Ts in the world & 2) a lot of people who think they don't like G&Ts (mainly because of (1)). I was one of them for a long time.

I mean, I get it! Some people just don't like gin. But also, most people *have only ever had bad/mediocre gin*. (That was certainly the case for me also.) Also, there are several different TYPES of gin, & most people have only ever had one. (Again: It also me.)

The moment I had really good gin, in styles other than Ye Olde London Dry?

So, step one in finding your A #1 G&T? Find your favorite style of gin.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Finding YOUR Best Gin

Not all gin is the same! You may prefer one style or maker for your G&T while your bestie prefers something different. What are the major categories and what are they like?

London Dry Gin: If you think you just don't like gin, this is probably what you've had. Boodles, Bombay, Beefeater, Tanqueray, Seagram's... These are all London Dry gins, characterized by a very bitter, medicinal, juniper-heavy taste, and for the most part, they all taste pretty similar, on purpose. A lot of people like it, but if you don't, you may just not like this style of gin. (Or.... You might be drinking cheap, inferior brands. We'll come back to that in a moment.) While London Dry is by FAR the most common style of gin, it's only one of several different styles that are available.

Plymouth Gin: Originally Plymouth was its own style of gin (made in Plymouth, England) with many different makers but now there's only the one brand that makes it, which is called--wait for it--Plymouth! While still dry in the sense that it contains no residual sugar, Plymouth gin comes across somewhat "sweeter" in the sense that it's less bitter and medicinal, with mellower juniper flavors. It does still have the trademark herbal notes that make gin gin, but if you want a kinder, gentler version, Plymouth might be for you.

Plymouth used to come in these gorgeous art deco bottles, & then for some reason a few years ago they replaced them all with these soulless, characterless, boring, ordinary bottles & honestly I've kind of never really gotten over it.

Old Tom Gin: Old Tom is another mellower, sweeter, less medicinal style of gin. Some people refer to the flavor as "malty." Funnily enough, Old Tom was the dominant style of gin in the 19th century, before London Dry sort of took over around the turn of the century, and for a while this style all but disappeared. It is making a resurgence, though, and there are several makers worth seeking out if you want to try this chill, historic expression of gin. You often see Old Tom barrel aged (see below), but it doesn't have to be.

New World Gin: These are basically all gins made in North America that are decidedly NOT made in the London Dry style. There is a lot of variety in how bitter/medicinal they come across, but in my experience the vast majority of new world gins do tend to be way mellower and less bitter than their London Dry cousins.

The other fun thing about new world gins is that makers are doing all kinds of experiments with what botannicals they use. Some are fruitier, some are pinier, some are earthier, some have more of the traditional juniper flavor--whatever flavor profile you find most interesting, you can probably find it! You might just have to taste a lot of gins. New world gins also often tend to be smaller production, with greater attention to quality than some of the bigger, more familiar brands.

Honestly, this category of gin has exploded in recent years and it seems like there's a new brand or bottling every other week. I can't possibly keep track of them all but some of my personal favorites (in order below) include Blade (made right down the 101 from us at Old World Spirits in Belmont, the first place I ever tasted a gin I liked), the St. George Terrior series (made across the Bay in Alameda at St. George Spirits), No. 209 Gin (made right here in San Francisco), Coursair (Nashville), and Aviation (Portland). But there are many other excellent ones out there! It's all down to which profile you personally prefer.

Barrel Aged Gin: This is where you take gin (typically a clear spirit) & stick it in barrels to age. (Who would have guessed??) The result is an amber-colored spirit that tastes a bit like gin and a bit like whiskey. The beauty of this is that you can then use it in pretty much anyway you'd use gin OR whiskey for a fun twist on just about any traditional cocktail. It's pretty common to see new world gins that have been barrel aged, and a number of distilleries make barrel aged Old Tom (the best known of which is probably Ransom Old Tom, see below). I don't think I've ever seen barrel aged London Dry or barrel aged Plymouth, but that doesn't mean they aren't out there!

NOW. As to the quality of your gin.

It's true with cooking, and it's true with cocktails. You can't use mediocre ingredients & expect to end up with something really good. Your creation is only as good as your cheapest, stalest, lowest quality ingredient. Unfortunately, a lot of people who think they don't like [x] have only ever had low-quality [x], and that is as true with gin/G&Ts as anything else.

Does that mean you have to drop $$$ on a bottle of gin? Not at all! Just about everything above is quite affordable (say, in the $25-50 range), especially when you consider how long it takes most of us to work our way through an entire bottle.

But there are some real stinkers out there. I didn't want to call them out, but then I ran across this article, where folks did a blind taste test of gins under $15 a bottle and rated them worst to best. So, let's just say that if a bottle ended up on this list, you probably don't want it!

Here endeth our discussion of gins.

Next on Frivelous, Non-Running Posts: Quality tonic waters & where to find them.