Monday, January 28, 2019

OMG can we talk about Marie Kondo for a hot second

As a kid I was an extremely messy, super hoarder-y person. I almost hyperventilated when somewhere around second grade my mom suggested that perhaps we didn't need to keep every single paper I ever brought home from school, and I definitely kept mental track of every toy and piece of clothing I had and fished them out of the trash/donation bin any time she tried to sneak something out that I didn't need or use anymore. I even hoarded a dead pet fish once because I couldn't bear the thought of parting with it. I can't possibly describe the face my dad made when he found it a week later.

But, somewhere along the way (late high school? College? Just after? I suspect having to pack and unpack and move around a lot had something to do with it), I began to abhor clutter. Having too much stuff, especially stuff I didn't really use anymore, started to bother me. Don't get me wrong, I was still super sentimental about stuff & had a hard time parting with stuff if it still seemed kinda-sorta semi-useful, but the time and effort and energy spent dealing with extra stuff sometimes started to win out.

I think every time I've moved, I've gotten a little more annoyed by clutter (mostly having to move & store it) & a little more courageous about thinning the herd of things I don't really use (including sentimental stuff). More and more I appreciate open, empty spaces and the idea that every material object I own pulls its psychic weight in some way.

So, when I first ran across The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I was intrigued. Not every detail of Marie Kondo's now-famous system resonated with me, but I found it thought-provoking and definitely found a number of her suggestions useful. And I really liked the underlying message (or, at least, it seemed to me) of really, truly appreciating the material belongings you have and avoiding the consumerist trap of more is always better. As with most self-help-type things (and I am kind of a self-help junkie!), I basically took what seemed useful to me & ignored the rest.

Unless you've been living under a rock you've probably heard that Marie Kondo now has a Netflix series of the same name where a person or family or couple request Marie's help with organizing & decluttering their space. Marie & her interpreter then descend on the home in question and lovingly (so lovingly!) guide the clients through a month-long process of "KonMari-ing" their space.

Friends, I binged the whole first season over the winter holidays & I regret nothing.

And then, of course, the inevitable memes and think pieces started rolling in.

SO MANY FEELINGS!!!

I still don't totally get how something this innocuous has inspired such fury/angst/hand-wringing/crazy analysis/anaylysis-of-the-analysis. You'd think Marie Kondo was hiding in the bushes, waiting for unsuspecting Americans to come home and then forcing them to burn all their possessions.

So, just for funsies, may I present my handy-dandy quick-reference guide for anyone having !!FEELINGS!! about a voluntary thing that some people are into but in which absolutely no one is being forced to participate.

Marie Kondo is coming to your house to take your stuff! BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!!
Um, probably not? She seems pretty busy. Did you ask her to? No? Then probably not.

Marie Kondo hates books! Marie Kondo thinks no one should have more than thirty books!
False. Marie Kondo doesn't give two shits how many books you have as long as you're glad you have them.


Well that escelated quickly.

Clapping at the books seem super dumb to me!
Then...skip that part?

Marie Kondo wants to take all my gross old sentimental T-shirts! COME AT ME KONDO!
Again Marie Kondo doesn't care what you keep as long as it makes you happy to do so.

I can only be happy with a filing cabinet stuffed with nine years' worth of every greeting card I've ever received!
Cool, Marie Kondo wants you to keep stuff that makes you happy!

Marie Kondo wants me to fold my socks & underwear, but I don't want to!
Then...don't? Probably no one is checking.

Being able to get rid of stuff just because it doesn't "spark joy" requires privilege! SOME PEOPLE can't get rid of stuff because they if they end up needing it, they may not be able to replace it.
Absolutely, so if this is you, then...don't?

Some cultures have very good reasons for keeping "useless" things that don't "spark joy"!
Great! They are the boss of them!

KONMARI DOES NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!
... Cool story?

Literally EVERYTHING in my life sparks joy!
Cool, you're done! Marie is happy for you.

Literally nothing in my life sparks joy, including MYSELF, MY SPOUSE, AND MY CHILDREN, WHATCHA GONNA SAY TO THAT, KONDO??
Dude, the lady's trying to help you organize your closet, not your entire psychological well being. Consider talking to a professional.


This situation is above Marie's pay grade.

Marie Kondo is turning decluttering/organization into a weird cult/moral issue!
I really think you're reading into this but have your feelings I guess. If decluttering/organizing makes you feel bad then, cool, maybe don't do it.

I just don't wanna.
Then...don't? IT'S YOUR WORLD!!

What does "spark joy" even mean?? I'm pretty sure I have to keep some stuff that doesn't.
A) I'm pretty sure you can replace "spark joy" with whatever positive feeling makes sense for you and B) she actually does talk about some of the stuff we really do HAVE to keep whether it gives us a warm fuzzy feeling or not, but cautions that there may be less of that than we think. (Like, some stuff can be scanned or photographed, or easily found online if needed.)

No, but seriously....I actually do find the exercise of Wow, this thing really does NOT bring me joy, at all, but is unfortunately kind of a life necessity an interesting exercise. Like I think those are maybe EXACTLY the things in our lives that need deeper contemplation! What feeling does it inspire? Where is that feeling coming from? How did it get there?

Do you actually, really, REALLY need it, or has someone/something/society somehow convinced you you need it? Do you "need" it because it helps you meet an important goal? Is there some alternative way to meet that same goal? WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU GOT RID OF IT?????

Do you just need better vegetable recipes?

A new form of exercise you actually enjoy?

A better fitting/more stylistically "you" bra? PERHAPS NO BRA??

Honestly, I think those thought exercises are where the good stuff is.

But really. If you're truly, honestly happy with 9,000 books, 47 old college T-shirts, and receipts for everything you ever bought going back to 2001, more power to you. Marie approves.


Breathe honey it's a TV show.

4 comments:

  1. I find it intriguing that the world is such a bunch of slobs that we need a METHOD to clean our crap up.

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    Replies
    1. Really? You’re standing that high above everyone and their consumption?

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  2. Ha ha, same on so many fronts: I was a hoarding kid but after moving so many times as an adult now I hate clutter. Love the series, follow her advice, and do not get why people get so ANGRY!!! about a woman suggesting (incredibly gently, by the way) to maybe not own things you don't truly want or need. I think a lot of people genuinely love being outraged. I also think a lot of those same people have not actually watched the show.

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  3. 100% agree. I picked and chose from her methods. Yes on the folding, no on thanking my purse and taking out all of the contents every day.

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