Fall Speedfest, Week 6 of 18: Deals With the Devil (and by "Devil" I mean "my own psyche")

Could it really be that Fall Speedfest is one-third over??? I feel like I haven't raced nearly enough for that.

This past week wasn't a particularly high mileage week since I was traveling, but it was okay, and I'm pleased with myself for getting a couple runs in when I didn't really feel like it & it would have been way easier to just skip it.

Let us talk today about Stuff We Don't Want To Do (running or otherwise) & the sneaky little deals we make with ourselves to get it done.

Because we all have it, right? The stuff that HAS to get done (and/or really really *should* get done if you know what's good for you) but we just absolutely would rather have a root canal than do it.

#dontwanna

I'm not usually like this with running. And to be honest, I don't think most people really can be that way with running TOO-too much or they just quit. (As they should; there are no prizes for forcing yourself to do 'recreational' things you hate on principle.) But I'm sure we all have the odd workouts where you just. Do. NOT. Wanna.

This was me several times this week, though. It was a weird week because I was traveling, meaning I couldn't really do my assigned Tuesday speed work (200m's & some other stuff) & instead did my Friday threshold run on the hotel treadmill (see below). Then after work the next day I was mentally broken & really only capable of collapsing onto the hotel bed, staring into the middle distance, & drooling, so I had to get up 5am to get the easy run in that I'd skipped.

Back home on Saturday was the day I had for the speed work. But oh my JESUS, how I didn't want to.

I didn't even want to leave the house. I had stuff to do and projects to finish. But, at length, I rallied and got my shoes on and started jogging toward the track but WOW, for some reason the thought of 4 x 200m/200m jog, 2 miles at AT pace, 4 x 200ms/200m jog once I got there made me want to give up on life.

But I HAD to do it, right? Because Sunday was long run day? Or maybe I could switch them? Maybe just an easy 14 & then the speed work on Sunday? But will I really feel any more like doing it then?

I don't know what it was exactly but the level of anxiety I was giving myself about this was truly epic. Finally it occurred to me that there wasn't really that much difference distance-wise between my speed workouts (11 miles once you jog to the track and back) & my long run (14 miles), so the deal I finally made with myself was, "OK fine, 10 easy miles today, just get SOMETHING done, then tomorrow we'll do the 10 mile loop again except swing by the track for the 4 mile workout. Unless the thought just absolutely, positively makes you want to cry, and then okay fine, you can just do 14 easy."

And somehow, that made it okay.

Some people work better by telling themselves, "You HAVE to do this, it MUST get done, NO FLAKING OUT!!" But for me, that's just a recipe for anxiety and panic.

Me when you tell me I have to do something I realllly don't want to do.

Paradoxically, it's telling myself, "You know, you don't HAVE to do this. It's fine. Do whatever you want, or don't. It's really fine" that makes me more likely to just start and try. And 95% of the time, I start, & do the next bit, & the next bit, & the next bit, & then it's done.

I thought the 14 miler with speed work in the middle would be awful but it actually turned out okay. In the spirit of trying to wear out the shoes I already own, I put on this pair of Mizuno Ekidens I haven't worn since 2015 (they had a grand total of maybe 30 miles on them beforehand).

They were great on the track but probably a bit thin for 14 miles (at least for me) so I'll probably use them more as 5K/10K racing flats in the future. With 16.5 miles for the weekend already on my legs before I started the workout, I wasn't sure how speedy those 200m's would be, but I was able to do them all in 0:43-45 with a pretty casual level of effort (maybe 80-85%).

So, yeah. Tell me I'm not the only one that makes crazy moment-to-moment negotiations with myself in order to get stuff done. (Please?)

~*~*~ Fall '18 Speedfest: Week 6 of 18 ~*~*~
Grand Total: 40 miles

* 22 easy
* 4.18 speed
* 4 threshold
* 14 long (including 4.18 speed)

Monday 9/17: Karate.

Tuesday 9/18: 2 warm up, 2 x 2 @ HM pace, 2 cool down = 8 total

Like I said, on Tuesday I flew to SoCal for work, meaning my only real option for a run was the hotel treadmill, and since doing 200m's on a treadmill is kind of the height of absurdity, my options were either 1) quick easy run or 2) quick Friday tempo workout. I was feeling optimistic so I went with 2). MAN those 2 miles @ HM pace are no joke! Just because the way the schedule's worked out lately I've been doing more speed work than tempo/threshold work & the T/Th workouts I have done have felt so hard that I have sometimes been wimping out & pausing for water breaks or breaking a 2 mile effort into two 1-mile efforts. This time, I took advantage of the treadmill to say, "You know, if you can't push through two measly miles at 7:40 mile pace, what are you even doing trying to run an entire half in a couple weeks?"

And, I did push through them. The were hard, so obscenely, ridiculously, what-the-heck-is-going-on hard, but I finished both without pausing, which was kind of a mental victory for me, I think.

Wednesday 9/19: 8 easy Rest.

I had been planning to do this run in the evening after a day of work, but by the time we got back from dinner I was pretty much a pile of mush. Since Thursday I'd be going straight from work to the airport & landing around 9pm, my only other option to get it done was to set my alarm for 5am so that's what I did.

Thursday 9/20: 8 easy

Friends I hate hate HATE getting up early and also hate running first thing in the morning, so I was super proud of myself for actually getting up when the alarm went off and getting this done before breakfast. And, it wasn't that awful? Though my right calf muscle was bugging me a bit.

Friday 9/21: 3.5 warm up, 4 x 200m/200m jog, 2 @ AT pace, 4 x 200m/200m jog, 3.5 cool down Rest.

My right calf muscle was still really unhappy. It's possible I could have gotten through the speed workout but I really didn't want to jeopardize it so I figured the safest thing was to switch my Friday workout & Saturday rest day. Also still feeling kind of broken from work travel.

Saturday 9/22: Rest 3.5 warm up, 4 x 200m/200m jog, 2 @ AT pace, 4 x 200m/200m jog, 3.5 cool down 10 easy.

Sunday 9/23: 6.5 warm up, 4 x 200m/200m jog, 2 @ AT pace / 2:00 jog, 4 x 200m/200m jog, 3.5 cool down = 14 total

=~*=~*=~*=~*=~*=~*=~*

Fall Speedfest, Week 5 of 18: #notracing

Fall Speedfest, Week 4 of 18

Fall Speedfest, Week 3 of 18: Crazy Race Anxiety Dreams

Fall Speedfest, Week 2 of 18: trendy strava ennui

Fall Speedfest, Week 1 of 18: Let the Fall Season Commence!