|You have no idea how many sappy relationship quotes come up if you google the phrase 'move on.' Lord.|
In general, I'm not a super emotional person and have a pretty easy time staying on an even keel, but this last weekend has really, really tested me on that. Here's how the week was supposed to go:
- Monday: karate + strength work.
Tuesday: Track workout - 1.5 wu + 1600m @ 10K pace + 2 x 800 @ 5K pace + 1.5 cd.
Wednesday: karate + strength work.
Thursday: 6 miles easy.
Friday: Tempo run - 1.5 wu + 2 @ 8:14/mile + 1@ 7:29/mile + 1.5 cd.
Saturday: 5 miles easy.
Sunday: 15 long.
Here's how it actually went:
Monday: karate + strength work.
Tuesday: 1.5 wu + 1600m @ 10K pace + 2 x 800 @ 5K pace + 1.5 cd.
karate + strength work. Testing, so no class for the rest of us.
6 easy. 4 easy. Do you ever have those days where you set out to run a distance you have run like a billion times before in your life and your body spontaneously forgets how to do it? No idea why, but my legs were absolutely dead from the outset. Four miles is really the shortest distance I ever run, but for a while I was really doubting I would make it to two before turning around. Not good for my self-confidence.
1.5 wu + 2 @ 8:14/mile + 1@ 7:29/mile + 1.5 cd. Some dear friends of mine were getting married Saturday, and the consequence of my dutifully getting in my runs and cross-training pretty much unfailingly for a solid two weeks was realizing as I was leaving work Friday that I hadn't figured out what I was wearing. At this point I had about two usable hours left in my day & I spent them shopping for something vaguely presentable to wear to the wedding. It was 10 by the time I got home. I've run at that hour in SF on a weekend night before, & the experience was unpleasant enough that I just couldn't muster the enthusiasm. "I'll just do this one tomorrow instead of the easy five," I told myself, clearly without giving any thought whatsoever to the next day's agenda.
5 easy 1.5 wu + 2 @ 8:14/mile + 1@ 7:29/mile + 1.5 cd. Crazily prepare for wedding. Did I mention Don & I were bar tending? We were bar tending (which was great fun), so there was prep work for that in addition to the usual wedding preparation instead of running. I could sort of emotionally cope with that except that a little part of me kept saying, "If you'd really wanted to run, if it had really been a priority, you could've gotten up super early & done it then." Which is completely true. So that sucked.
15 long. If you're ever asked to bar tend at a late afternoon / evening / night event, make note of the following. First, you might think you'd end up drinking a lot if you were behind the bar all night, but it turns out that you're actually too busy to drink more than a moderate amount. Second, because you're behind the bar and not near food, you may find yourself going many hours without eating. By the time I realized my mistake (say, 1 am), it was too late. It turns out yogurt & granola + half a turkey sandwich + even a very reasonable amount of cocktails / wine / champagne = a very, very, VERY unhappy Sunday morning. Physically, for obvious reasons, and emotionally because I'd been working so hard to get those runs in, day in and day out, and there I was about to go from 12 miles behind for the week to 27. It took me about six hours to fully accept that, no, no running was going to happen today and I was doing well to keep solid food down by dinner time.
So I finished the week with a whopping 10.75 miles. Ouch.
A particular strength of mine is doing some real analysis when something doesn't go the way I plan. I try to go back and dissect exactly what happened, and why, and what the consequences are, and how I can mitigate them, and how I can prevent the same thing from happening again.
It may shock (SHOCK!) you to know that this can also be a problem when it goes on for too long. This is something I've had to work at a lot in my adult life -- at a certain point, you've done all the processing that can possibly be constructive in any way and you just have to freaking let it go. It's a thing. It happened. It's done. You can't change it. Move on.
Here's the conversation that played in my head for days afterward:
Irrational brain: But, but, BUT! But MARATHON! And long runs! And how lame I am, and how much I suck!
Rational brain: Let. It. Go. Do better next week.
[Repeat x a bajillion]
So I've been getting there.
Monday is normally my rest day, but since I skipped 3 days of running including a couple of big ones, and we were going to a party that night and not karate, I really wanted to get a short run in beforehand. But I left work late, and traffic sucked, and by the time I got home I just didn't think there was any way I could fit it in.
Friends, this was just about as much I could take, emotionally. Thankfully Don came home soon after that and listened to me blubber on and on about my running problems and what a lazy slob I felt like and how there was just never enough time for anything. And his response was more or less, "I think it will be in the best interest of everyone's well-being and enjoyment if you go for a short run and come late to the party."
Seriously, at that moment I could have wept for joy.
Instead, I ran five miles, then went to a party where everyone kept asking me if I had a good run and admired how serious and disciplined I was, the irony of which did not escape me and almost made me snarf wine.
Is there a moral here? I don't really know. All I really know, in fact, is that I've been trying for five days now to make this post even remotely coherent. I'm not sure how much I've succeeded or failed, but I DO know I really just can't stand looking at it in the "drafts" folder anymore, and Week 4 will be over before you know it, so here you go. I hope your week was better than mine. ;)