Saturday, June 15, 2013

To Next Year

So this week has been different from my last few in that it involved activities at least tangentially related to running.

Usually on Wednesday nights I'm at karate, so the one upside of being too busted for that right now is that I was completely free this past Wednesday to go see Spirit of the Marathon II with A.

Takeaways:

1) Totally agree with Redhead Running that running a marathon with "Pizza Runner" would be awesome.

2) I could never ever ever ever EVER run a race with the purple shirt woman. She seems like a lovely person off of a race course, but honestly I think I would have strangled her by mile 4.

3) I could probably never be in a feel-good inspirational running movie because I have no Story.

I had to keep reminding myself that no, every person in the movie was not actually personally mocking me with their ability to run and no, hating them for it was not actually going to heal my leg faster.

Unrelated to running, Don & I went to one of our favorite SF cocktail bars Friday night with friends & had a great time, after which I came home & ate half of a giant al pastor Mission burrito mojado.


Drinking.


Eating. I may not be running right now but I can still fuel with the best of them.

Then on Saturday I dragged myself out of bed at 11:00am to head over the SF Marathon expo.

To be honest, for the last three weeks I've been secretly hoping some sort of miracle would happen, and I would wake up one morning before June 16 with my leg completely healed and able to get me to the finish of the "2nd Half" half marathon I've been looking forward to for months.

This has not happened. While it has been incredibly slowly but surely getting better (I can walk like a mile with no pain! I can get in & out of cars without my hip exploding!), I'm a loooooong way from anything that even resembles running (still can't go up/down steps or do a single-leg squat without insane pain).

Bum leg or not, however, I was still owed a shirt, sweat bag, & beer ticket, dammit, so off I want. (And of course, as is pretty much always the case with SFM, I have a bunch of friends running & wanted to drop by the meet-up that was happening and say hi to everyone.)

I also wanted my bib, for reasons I can't completely explain.

[WARNING: light to moderate melodrama ahead]

In general too much woe-is-me blog-wallowing is one of those things I just CANNOT abide, so I beg your indulgence for the next couple of paragraphs. I'll try to keep it brief.

This is my first "real" DNS, the only other being a relatively cheap 20 miler I was planning on running last fall as a supported training run & then decided at the last minute not to make the drive for. Obviously it's a bit of a bummer anytime you pay & plan for something & then aren't able to do it, but SF2HM '13 has had me a little more bummed out than I think I would've been otherwise, for a few reasons.

First, I have waited a long time to run this race. It's not a cheap one, and there's a sweet discount for sub-seeded runners, so I decided to put it off until I had a qualifying time. This was one of the reasons I was so excited to finally run a sub-1:40 last year, and I was looking forward to the experience. Second, the course covers most of the same terrain I've pounded day in & day out since I moved to SF in 2008 (it goes almost right by our house), and there's something kind of cool about racing on what is really, truly your home turf. (Er, except that part where you go east through Golden Gate Park. That is pretty much never cool.)

Up until the expo, I'd been doing a pretty good job of not moping & sticking to more of a "Sigh, maybe next year" level of mild disappointment. Walking around amidst people who've been training and tapering and fueling and hydrating & are getting ready to kill it tomorrow (or y'know, just have a really good time), though, I started to feel considerably worse. Every time I thought about the fact that I wouldn't be running, and couldn't even if I was absolutely determined to, I felt sick to my stomach over it.

Which I know is silly, but it's what my jerkbrain is doing right now. With stuff like this, I've learned over the years that I get over it faster if I just admit to myself, "Yes, this is a thing that is happening, that you can do nothing about, and it SUCKS. It's okay to feel crappy for a while so long as you keep it in check. You'll be over it by Monday."

So. I'm trying to keep telling myself "Next year!" and hope my 2014 plans cooperate.

[/melodramatics]

In the mean time, I will be spectating the SHIT out of this race Sunday morning! Cathryn is trying to get me to come dressed as a ninja........Votes?

14 comments:

  1. I had to skip two marathons and a half this year (basically, all my race plans) due to injury. It helped to volunteer at the event and cheer others on, but yeah - still pretty awful!

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    1. Yeah...Injuries suck, but I'm glad I went out to cheer at SFM today. It really was a lot of fun. :)

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  2. On the plus side, it's really lovely to see that this little break from running is showing you that you really love the sport in a very personal way. When you do get back to running, you'll probably feel different about it, more passionate. That's a pretty cool thing. I predict that this whole thing is going to make you an even stronger runner.

    That being said, this sucks. I'm sorry it's so hard to deal with.

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    1. Awww, thanks! I'm trying to look at it that way & tell myself I'll enjoy running so much more once I'm healthy enough to get back to it. :)

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  3. I know how bummed you feel about missing your race today. I was really upset when I missed out on races last year. One being pretty expensive. I hope that you can get the chance to run it next year. There is something comforting about running on your home turf. I laughed at your Golden Gate Park comment. Running through that was NOT fun.

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    1. Right??? I know it's good for me but it really is awful!

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  4. Did you come as a ninja? Because if you did, and I missed you, I will be as heartbroken as you sound about not running.

    Gutted you didn't run - so sad for you. Thought of you loads as I ran through the Mission. Next year!

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    1. I did think about the ninja costume! But I figured the weapons might be frowned on (heightened security & all that....).

      I spent most of the time between 8:30-9:30 with RoadBunner & her husband at the turn on Transverse Drive in GG Park (we were sitting in lawn chairs), but it seemed like the different paces of runners were all mixed together, so it was hard to tell exactly when to expect people.

      I am sooooo glad you had an awesome race! Looking forward to reading all about it!

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  5. 1. SotM2 - I completely agree about the runners. I thought they did a better job this time of picking the runners to follow -- I remember only liking half of the runners from the first movie.

    2. You are totally allowed to have a pity party. Especially since you're usually quite practical and focused on taking positive steps, not to mention this was an expensive race AND in your hometown/neighborhood. I was just listening to a podcast with Greg MacMillan where he talked about active rest - taking 1-2 months off from running between training cycles - and how that's really helped the runners he coaches break through plateaus. I know that planning to rest and being forced to rest are two different animals, but maybe you can pretend that you're choosing to rest? Here's the podcast link: http://trailrunnernation.com/2013/06/give-it-a-rest-with-coach-greg-mcmillan/

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  6. Nice on seeing Spirit II, I need to see that sometime!

    Yea, going to expos while injured is rough - it's like everyone else is going to Disneyland, while you are stuck at home after missing the flight. Weird, sometimes I wonder what everyone else is thinking at an expo- they are healthy and happy. Though I've missed so many races now due to injury, that I've gained perspective to it - that very likely I'll be back out there sometime. I too have unfinished business with the 2nd half marathon at SF - did 1st half in 2009, full in 2010, then have been injured the past 2 years.

    And yea, you better have Ninjaed it!

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  7. It does suck to be around that. :( I know it doesn't help, but it's always good to see you & we all know you'll be back in the game faster and stronger than before.

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  8. First, sorry you have not been able to run. I've had times where injuries have prevented me from running (up to 6 months) so I know it sucks.

    Second, I love that ninja custom.

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  9. I'm with you on purple shirt lady.

    So sorry to hear about your injury. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

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    1. Thanks. :)

      It's getting better. Just very slowly.

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