Friday, August 3, 2012

A Confession

A couple of years ago I started reading Gretchen Rubin's blog The Happiness Project. It might sound sort of cheesy, but the woman has some incredibly insightful things to say, and many of us would probably be better off if we could put more of her musings into action.

Back during Oakland Half/Marathon weekend, Jana gave me the actual book to borrow, and even though a lot of it was familiar from reading her blog, I really enjoyed it - she goes into more detail than on her blog, and includes lots of interesting stories and anecdotes from her daily life.

One day I was reading the chapter on her May resolution, which was to "be serious about play." In a nutshell, she worked on making time for leisure activities & cultivating "frivolous" interests. There's one section where she breaks "fun" into three types: challenging fun, accommodating fun, and relaxing fun.

"Challenging fun is the most rewarding but also the most demanding. It can create frustration, anxiety, and hard work. It often requires errands. It takes time and energy. In the end, however, it pays off with the most satisfying fun.

Usually less challenging, but still requiring a fair bit of effort, is accommodating fun. A family trip to the playground is accommodating fun. Yes, it's fun, but I'm really there because my children want to go...It strengthens relationships, it builds memories, it's fun--but it takes a lot of effort, organization, coordination with other people, and, well, accommodation.

Relaxing fun is easy. I don't have to hone skills or take action. There's very little coordination with other people or preparation involved. Watching TV--the largest consumer of the world's time after sleeping and work--is relaxing fun." (p. 134-135)

I say all that to preface a great confession.

Friends, I do not enjoy the act of running.

I don't. It's not fun. I do not find it enjoyable. Most of the time, it's a chore I pretty much have to force myself to do. Nine times out of ten, I would SOOOO prefer to sit on the couch and read or watch X-Files reruns or--gasp--get some extra work done.

And really, can you blame me? It's physically uncomfortable. You have to breathe hard. You sweat. Your various little aches & pains get going. It's hot sometimes. Or cold. Or it's raining. Or you have afternoon brain coma. This is why I find it funny when someone is like, "Oh, I wish I was a runner, but I just REALLY HATE running." Well no shit, Sherlock! I want to tell them. Of course you hate running. Most of us do. It kind of sucks.

Of course, I understand that some people really do enjoy the actual act of running. I think I'm friends with a lot of them! And I'm super jealous of those folks. I mean, yes, very occasionally I do enjoy it, if I'm feeling really good and the weather's nice, or if I haven't been able to run for a few days, for example. But most of the time, I can only dream of mustering the same enthusiasm for my runs as I do for a lazy afternoon Dr. Who.

You can probably see why, for a long time, I struggled to explain to people why I run, what it is I enjoy about the sport of running, given the fact that I find the physical act of running so deeply unpleasant. And I think Gretchen kind of nailed it. Running is "challenging fun" -- it takes energy, and planning, and sacrifice, but what I get out of it is the great pleasure of accomplishment and progress. I LOVE to race, to see concrete proof of my improvement. I love being able to say, Here's a thing I did that I worked really hard for, and even if I never do it again, I'll always have that accomplishment. In some twisted way, I kind of think that the fact that I do work so hard and endure so much unpleasantness makes the accomplishments, PRs or running a new distance or what have you, all the more satisfying.

There are other things I enjoy about the sport of running as well:

  • I like the idea of being a runner because I associate runners with lots of qualities I value: strength, toughness, stamina, health, discipline, etc. I'm very proud of being a runner and I like the idea that knowing I'm a runner makes people associate those qualities with me (at least in my mind).
  • I like what I've learned & continue to learn from running (patience, staying calm under pressure, mental toughness, appreciation for how amazing your body is in all its imperfections, etc.).
  • I like way I feel physically after a run (looser muscles, the feeling of having worked hard, lower stress levels).
  • I like the way I feel mentally after a run (refreshed, accomplished, hard-working & disciplined).
  • I like the way I feel long-term because of the fact that I run regularly (relaxed, healthy, fit, strong).
  • I even find little pockets of pleasure sometimes during a run (the smell of freshly cut grass or the air after a rainstorm, a cool breeze, nice weather, interesting people watching).

But let us not for a second confuse any of this with enjoyment of the physical act of running. Absolute best case, I don't mind it & see the temporary discomfort as a small price to pay for all the benefits above.

Which brings me to a couple of other of Rubin's points about happiness.

First, happiness doesn't always make you feel happy. Running is absolutely critical to my happiness, both short- and long-term, but that doesn't mean I'm necessarily happy while I'm doing it.

And second, in order to be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right. Running might not always make me feel "good" in the moment, but it does make me feel "right" in the larger scheme of things. I might not like actually doing it, but I like that I do it, and during times when I haven't been able to run, I just haven't felt "right."

So I'm sort of wondering -- is it just me? Does everyone else out there actually enjoy the physical act of running? Or do you just put up with it because the other types of happiness / good feelings you get out of the sport of running or the fact that you run?

15 comments:

  1. I enjoy the physical act of running, but I also enjoy it most when I haven't been able to do it for a while, e.g. coming back from injury. I don't LOVE the act of running, period, full-stop, because if did, I wouldn't hate the treadmill with a fiery passion. Come to think of it, I also don't love track workouts; I tend to like long runs, the longer the better, where I can just be outside and chill out for a while. So maybe I like the act of running more than I like it as a sport? Or something?

    Cycling, though, is one where I don't really enjoy the act but love the benefits of being associated with it, much as you describe for running.

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    1. It's always interesting to me to hear the different parts of running that people enjoy more. I really like track workouts a lot, even though they're probably my most physically unpleasant workouts. Long runs are really, really hard for me mentally -- honestly, I think I just have a short attention span so breaking things up with intervals and different paces is easier for me to get through than running at a steady pace (even an easy one) for a longer period of time.

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  2. I enjoy the physical act of running when it doesn't hurt...injury-hurt not hard work hurt.

    Just curious...what do you do for frivolous fun?

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    1. I think most of my frivolous fun involves really lazy things, like reading, watching movies, eating, drinking, etc. Believe it or not, I am a SUPER lazy person at heart.

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  3. Nice post. I think I agree, at least in part, with everything you said here. Running isn't always a pleasant thing and sometimes it's really hard and horrible. I think I'm able to enjoy the physical act of running because I run 80% of mileage at 10 minutes miles or slower...I'm just out there putting one foot in front of the other. It's like meditating while moving. :)

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    1. Thanks! For some reason I've never been able to get into that zen kind of zone with running -- I pretty much can't help thinking about what I'm doing. Sometimes running faster (to a certain extent) makes it more fun for me. I think when I slow down too much, I feel all mechanically wonky for some reason. :P

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  4. I agree with all of your above points but I also like the physical discomfort or pain of it as well. Feeling pain while running means that I'm challenging myself in some way (longer distance, faster, hills). It is this pain that makes me feel alive. Second to the pain of running while running is when I feel sore the next day (not injured though) because it means that I pushed myself harder than my body was accustomed to, that it will heal stronger, and I will get faster next time.

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    1. I also love running in the rain and running while it's hot out. If it's 70F out on the track, I'm wearing a sweatshirt while doing tempo pace.

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  5. I have way more fun running when I'm running on trails than on roads. It just feels less like a chore and more like exploring. Plus, the fact that I can only do it on weekends means it's a luxury and a break from running my usual routes. I also really enjoy running when everything clicks and feels just right -- like I could go on forever. However, I'm not sure what I'm feeling is really "fun" as much as, "this is really awesome." Is that the same thing?

    I probably feel that way (fun/awesome) about 5-10% of the time though. The rest of the time, I completely agree with you -- I'm relying on the running-related reasons (not running itself) to push me along.

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    1. I understand what you mean about the trails. For me it is SOOO much nicer to run anywhere that's a change from my usual neighborhood routes, but I don't go out of my way to do it much either because it takes too much time or because I feel silly driving somewhere in order to run. I should probably just do it more often, though!

      Yep, I have those days occasionally where everything just clicks, but they're definitely in the 5-10% range for me as well.

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  6. I enjoy racing probably more than the training. However, since my injury I have a new found appreciation for running and have vowed to not take it for granted like I was previously. Now I will not race as much so that I truly have something to look forward too. I also won't race as much because my coach isn't going to let me which is a whole other story. Right now I cherish every day I get to run, it is fun for me all over again (if that makes any sense). I am currently up to 600 meter repeats and I am always sad when I am almost done with them.

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    1. You're totally right and I do have to remind myself of that. It really is a great gift to be able to run at all.

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  7. Im really surprised that you don't actually love running. You seem to love it based on your blog. You are so religious about it.

    I'm one of those people that loves running, I've loved it my whole life. Maybe because it was the one sport that I was pretty good at? For example in the gym I despise weights and strength training, so my reward for doing that is to run at the end of strength training.

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  8. So often you say what I've thought about often. And you say (write?) it so well, sometimes better than I've thought it. I thought I was weird for not liking running itself but loving the idea of running and all I get from it. I'm glad to know I'm not alone!

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